Releasing and Accepting

I'm decently OK at releasing and accepting things that are beyond my control--like Terrell Pryor's apparent injury unfolding during this OSU game. Ugh. But my perfectionistic tendencies sometimes keep me holding tightly to goals and responsibilities that have really very little to do with my daily happiness or positive impact on the world.



I've been working on accepting adequate when adequate will do, with limited success. I can't tell you how many late nights my husband has endured because I want to try just one more thing or I don't quite like what I've done so far. It's a family trait, I think, and it comes from a good place. I really like doing good work! I really like learning the best way to do things and taking the time to do things right. I enjoy the process. But no one can do everything. There are times when my approach serves the common good and times when it causes more harm.

Example: I registered for a November half marathon. I've run 3 half marathons and I thought it was about time to do another. My strongest running trait is mental strength for distances, so it seems like I should be running distances. But, I don't really like running--at least, not enough to devote the hours required for half marathon training. Nonetheless, I returned from Russia determine to train for the half in just 6 weeks.

My husband patiently waited for me to realize that is pretty stupid.

I'm no super-athlete, but I enjoy staying in shape. I love yoga. I like kick-boxing. I like walks, I like the occasional short run. I like strength training, I like pilates. I have a really, really hard time gearing up for a long training run. I spend the whole time thinking of what else I could be doing, and I sacrifice my Saturday yoga to run. Not to mention the risk of overtraining injury, since it's been awhile since I've trained regularly.

So why the heck should I train so hard? I am going to run the 5k instead, and I am going to enjoy it. I am releasing my self-imposed obligation to the half-marathon and accepting that it's OK to be a casual runner.

Seems small, I know. But it's helping me enjoy the day-to-day and live in the moment, which makes me a better person for the people around me. And the same principle applies to bigger things, like my work with my clients or my kiddos in Russia. I can impact global injustice and individual healing, but so much of it is beyond my control. Releasing the burden and accepting my role frees me to love well without fear. I'm still learning, but I accept that. :)