ToT: Bucket List

Every once in awhile, it hits me that for all my perfectionism and detail obsession, I am not a long-term planner. I was not the little girl who dreamed of my wedding or being a mother; whenever I was asked what I wanted to be when I grew up, I didn't have an answer. I can be almost neurotic about doing my best in the moment and setting myself up for success, but I'm not always sure what the goal is, for good or for ill.

So, I don't have much of a bucket list. Many of my hopes and dreams are intangible . . . world peace and justice and happiness and all of that. Some of my hopes are well beyond my control and are more about faith. Some are extremely mundane. The vast majority of my hopes are about the people I love . . . watching my boy grow up healthy, strong, and happy, seeing my parents thrive well into the years, living in love with my husband for the rest of our long lives, celebrating joys with dear friends . . . with family, love, and laughter all over the place.

That said . . . there are a few things I've always wanted to do, some of which I just discovered. (Thank you, Together on Tuesday! Check out the links to the right for more ideas.) Here is my completely tangible, and personal (not idealogical), Bucket List.

Merry Christmas

{fair trade nativity available at serrv, a partner of lutheran world relief}

A Christmas Prayer

by Daniel Lee of Lutheran World Relief

God of Light, who illumines night,

Come to those now in darkness.

God of plenty, who multiplies joy,

Come to those now in sorrow.

God of promise,

who creates the harvest,

Come to those now in hunger.

This Christmas and always, 

We trust in your light,

your plenty and your promises.

Teach us again, through Word and deed,

of the Christ child

made flesh among us:

Who breaks the rod of oppression,

That we might work for justice;

Who removes the yoke of burden,

That our neighbor might

walk with dignity;

Who sets the tools of war afire,

That all creation might live in peace.

Amen.

Merry Christmas to each and every one of you.

Happy Thanksgiving

Gratitude

Ah, November. The leaves change from colorful to brown and crunchy, the air from cool to biting. We Scorpios celebrate our birthdays. There's an odd mix of Halloween leftovers and Christmas early birds all around. College football gets serious--OSU vs Michigan, anyone? And we spend the month reflecting on gratitude.

I like the idea of taking all of November listing the many things for which I am thankful--I even got into the spirit on Facebook, which takes some commitment (if you're me). Being the type who is constantly striving to do more and do it better, there is a lot of value in my reflecting on the good things all around me. I've spent a lot of time examining deficits in hopes of improvement, but that's only valuable when you can enjoy the good things as they are. Professionally, social workers try to be strengths-based--the theory being that we grow more when we focus on our strengths rather than our problems. I could use more of that in my daily life--even in this blog, really. I have been blessed with far more rainbows than thunderstorms in my world. So, again, with the lists . . . and since it's my 33rd year, 33 is the magic number. 

Here are 33 Things I am Thankful for in my 33rd Year.

A Thanksgiving Sermon

{from homegrownhospitality.typepad.com}

Wednesday Wisdom

"We can do no great things, only small things with great love."

--Mother Teresa of Calcutta

ToT: A letter to the past . . .

Yes, I'm writing nearly a week late. Life happens. And for some reason, the life that happened last week left me just not in the mood to talk to that 16-year-old me. But I have a few things to say to her now . . .

To my 16-year-old self,

A lot has happened in your first 16 years . . . and that's a good thing. Because the next 16 years will bring changes you could never have imagined. Most of those are pretty wonderful. Some, devastating. If I could change some of those things, believe me, I would. I am not sure this letter has that much power . . . but if it did, here's what I would tell you.

ToT Gets Personal

To my dearest cotton-headed ninny-muggins husband . . .

I don't say "Thank You" enough. Sometimes it's because of the busy-ness of life, sometimes I'm being too thick to see you well, sometimes you're being thick and I'm rolling my eyes, sometimes 9 years of wedded bliss get taken for granted. Sometimes I think of how I could never possibly thank you enough for everything you do and and for being who you are.

So . . .

Thank you for talking me into getting a second cat. And having a baby.
Thank you for cleaning out the cat box nearly every day for 7 years.
Thank you for minimal complaints about being in charge of the gross stuff.
Thank you for loving me through major grief, grad school (twice), and post-partum drama.
Thank you for taking care of yourself and working hard to grow and learn because you value our marriage.
Thank you for your campaign to be sure I learn that farts are funny. (Eww.)
Thank you for frequently demonstrating the importance of moving to a house with a second bathroom.
Thank you for your patience.
Thank you for making me more patient. Often out of necessity. :)
Thank you for finally asking me on a date, 10 years ago. After multiple hints.
Thank you for helping me slow down sometimes.
Thank you for speeding up sometimes because I want you to.
Thank you for frequent last-minute trips to the store because I'm in the middle of cooking and ran out of an important ingredient.
Thank you for taking care of me when I am sick (like right now).
Thank you for listening well, to me and to others.
Thank you for keeping your promises.
Thank you for being the world's best daddy.
Thank you for wearing the 'Best Man in America' shirt I made you on our first Valentine's Day, even if it was in secret.
Thank you for watching ridiculous food and dance tv with me, just because you like me.
Thank you for making things more fun.
Thank you for getting me to like avocado.
Thank you for indulging my silly side.
Thank you for finding your silly side when no one is looking.
Thank you for driving me crazy on a regular basis, giving me ample opportunity for character growth.
Thank you for challenging me when said character growth is lacking.
Thank you for loving my family and my friends as if they were family.
Thank you for sharing your family with me.
Thank you for calling me out and expecting my best when needed.
Thank you for cleaning like a neat-freak.
Thank you for relaxing when necessary.
Thank you for going all in when you let go and laugh your heart out.
Thank you for a pretty great courtship and proposal story.
Thank you for letting me be sentimental.
Thank you for being my home.
Thank you for loving your neighbor, at home and far away.
Thank you for following your dreams, but reshaping them to suit our family.
Thank you for going on adventures with me.
Thank you for knowing what I need, sometimes even before I say it.
Thank you for your loyalty.
Thank you for persistence.
Thank you for working hard every day as a sexy and mysterious historian.
Thank you for being solid-as-a-rock reliable.
Thank you for knowing I need a clean car for a road trip and the door closed when I shower.
Thank you for having good hygiene.
Thank you for making me laugh.
Thank you for being smarter than I am.
Thank you for being the strongest man I know.
Thank you for teaching me how to love generously, even when I don't feel generous.
Thank you for the hours of talking and sharing ideas.
Thank you for getting baby boy to sleep.
Thank you for reading stories.
Thank you for always, only being yourself.
Thank you for letting me be myself, all the time.
Thank you for remembering to get the crock pot down without my reminding you.
Thank you for reaching all the tall stuff.
Thank you for playing music with me even if it makes your head hurt.
Thank you for having handsome eye crunkles and silver hair:).
Thank you for taking my calls 30 times a day when I have something cute or silly or exciting to tell you.
Thank you for understanding that sometimes, I just have to get past the mood, and that's OK.
Thank you for being my best friend.
I love you.
Me

Check out the other bloggers this week! Charlotte, Danielle, Erica, Leah, Michelle, Nancy, and Trish

Songs for Changing the World

I thought in light of this week's Together on Tuesday topic I would share some songs that inspire me to make the world a better place.

Some of these are by artists I love, and some are one hit wonders in my catalogue, but all lift my spirit, remind me of beauty in the world, and help me see my neighbor differently.

Wednesday Wisdom

"In a gentle way, you can shake the world."

--Mahatma Gandhi



Wednesday Wisdom

"Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible."

-Dalai Lama

Wednesday Wisdom

"We fear that we are inadequate, but our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves: 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be these things? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There is nothing enlightening about shrinking so that other people around you won't feel insecure. We are all meant to shine as children do. We are born to manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically releases others."

-Nelson Mandela

Wednesday Wisdom

Today kind of chewed me up and spit me out. Actually, the whole week has been kind of rough. All in a day's work, really, but sometimes it becomes a bit much. A client was hospitalized, had to file a child abuse report, cussed out by a mental health patient, teenager joined a gang, a young lady is in a dangerous relationship, a client newly homeless, and I absorbed the full brunt of a 6-year-old meltdown. Not to mention lots of missed appointments and fresh budget cuts at work. This doesn't include my colleagues' icky weeks! All of this is manageable, and really there is more hope in each of these situations than this simple list would convey, it can just add up and weigh me down after awhile. My goal is to get through tomorrow without any yelling, swearing, or tears. I've made it so far, I just need my clients to get on board. Then we can get to work making things better!

In the meantime, as my lovely colleage Sarah says, quoting Finding Nemo like the brilliant child therapist she is,

Just keep swimming.

Wednesday Wisdom

I grew up loving Anne of Green Gables, both the books and the Wonderworks movies on PBS. Not sure I can pinpoint why . . . was it her imagination? Her pluck? Her smarts? Or maybe it was the red hair. I know I loved her ability to love the people in her world, despite her circumstances. And I loved how those people grew to treasure her and all her uniqueness. My family and I would watch this together, over and over. It's no wonder I grew up to do the work I do.

So, out of Anne's mouth . . .

"Tomorrow is always fresh, with no mistakes in it . . . yet."

-Lucy Maud Montgomery

Wednesday Wisdom

April is the cruelest month . . .

I first read those words by TS Eliot in Mr Comiskey's Great Books class in high school. I didn't realize they might actually be true.

It's been a heavy few weeks, for a number of reasons. April seems to hold a lot of loss. Today alone marks the anniversary of a lot of deeply painful events, for people around the country and for people near to my heart.

But, in order to feel a great loss, one has to have known great love.

So, in honor of that great love, this week's Wednesday Wisdom quote makes its second appearance:

"Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened."

-Dr. Seuss

Wednesday Wisdom

Ok, so I've been a little MIA lately. It's not that I don't want to write, it's just I've been pulled in a few different directions lately (who isn't). But in the middle of the crazy, I'm trying to live mindfully, enjoy each moment, and celebrate the joys of life (while minimizing obligations that don't feed my or anyone else's soul). Spring is here, and Easter is coming. There is a lot to celebrate! "There are only two ways to life your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is though everything is a miracle."

-Albert Einstein

Wednesday Wisdom

I haven't written much about work on here, with good reason. I am a social worker/therapist with a private agency and I work with children and families of all kinds who are dealing with the state child welfare system. I love my job, and sometimes I am amazed and humbled at the capacity for healing and strength in wounded people. Sometimes, it feels too big, too sad, and just plain discouraging. It's been a rough week and I'm holding out for a glimmer of hope. Thankfully, I have some gracious supervisors, one of whom directed me to this story by Loren Eiseley. I first read this a few years back when an adoptive mother sent it my way, thinking of her sweet boys. It was just the reminder I needed this week . . .

art from desktop-3d.com

Once upon a time, there was a wise man who used to go to the ocean to do his writing. He had a habit of walking on the beach before he began his work.

One day, as he was walking along the shore, he looked down the beach and saw a human figure moving like a dancer. He smiled to himself at the thought of someone who would dance to the day, and so, he walked faster to catch up.

As he got closer, he noticed that the figure was that of a young man, and that what he was doing was not dancing at all. The young man was reaching down to the shore, picking up small objects, and throwing them into the ocean.

He came closer still and called out "Good morning! May I ask what it is that you are doing?"

The young man paused, looked up, and replied "Throwing starfish into the ocean." "

"I must ask, then, why are you throwing starfish into the ocean?" asked the somewhat startled wise man.

To this, the young man replied, "The sun is up and the tide is going out. If I don't throw them in, they'll die."

Upon hearing this, the wise man commented, "But, young man, do you not realize that there are miles and miles of beach and there are starfish all along every mile? You can't possibly make a difference!"

At this, the young man bent down, picked up yet another starfish, and threw it into the ocean. As it met the water, he said, "It made a difference for that one."

And so, we work. Blessings,

Wednesday Wisdom

Here's a longtime favorite, perfectly appropriate for the Lenten season, I think. Some people think John Lennon said it, but he may not be the first. I am not sure where this originated . . .

"Everything will be OK in the end. If it's not OK, it's not the end."