ToT: The Fur Babies

Before we had a child, I was CERTAIN I wouldn't be one of those people who neglects their animals after the baby is born. POSITIVE.

Hmph. Easier said than done, but to some degree, we've pulled it off. We figure these poor guys have to get through a couple of years of being pretty low on the totem pole, but in exchange they'll have cuddles from Peanut for years to come.

Meet Arthur.

 

He is a furball and a half. He is an extremely smart cat, and extremely well-behaved. Shockingly, really. We got him in 2005. Ben thought he wanted to get a kitten, to start from scratch . . . until he saw a kitten. Cute, of course, but wild! Ben had never had a cat before, and I think he was ready to give it up, until we saw this guy. He immediately snuggled up to us through the cage, and we knew he was ours. The name on the cage was Ishi, and his previous vet bills called him Tigger. It's as if these people never even met him before! He was clearly an intellectual, with refined tastes, who preferred an old library to running around. Since he's so literary, his name is Arthur Pendragon Weasley Clark. (Yep, mixed a classic and a pop indulgence there.) He has red hair, for pity's sake. The triangle on his head (and other behaviors) indicate he is part Turkish Van, but his looooong hair and cuddliness make me wonder if he is part ragdoll. We think he was 2-3 years old when we got him, but he has always been an old soul. He's a snuggler (the most affectionate cat I've ever known--ask anyone who's had him sit on their head) and he was a perfect fit for us.

Then came Rigby.

Ugh, how humiliating. Poor Rigs.

I was fine with just the one cat, though I sort of felt that we could give another animal a good home, so we should. Rigby was wandering around someone's yard, and a friend picked him up. He was a kitten--maybe an adolescent--at the time. They loved him and said if there was ever a cat for them, this was the one--but their pugs kept eating the litter. Gross. Ben was sure it was a great idea, so here he came. And Ben was right. He and Arthur became fast friends (after some hierarchical negotiations). We always thought we would name our next cat Franklin, but it was specified his name must remain Rigby. My historian Beatles-loving husband and I came up with the ridiculous name Franklin Delanor Rigby Clark. Yes, folks, we are that cheesy. He is our street thug kitty, and he acts kind of like a dog sometimes--though he has become more cat-like in his old age. Somewhat. He's the only cat I know who falls down on a regular basis. When he's not sneaking water out of my glass, he's chasing imaginary insects or running laps around the house. He's a sweet guy with some anxiety disorder to go with his attachment disturbance. Possibly psychosis as well.

Yes, I diagnose my cats. Arthur was originally abandoned when his previous home had a baby, so I was very careful to navigate that trauma trigger for him--until the baby was born and reality set in. Rigby definitely is on an attachment disorder spectrum (not conventional clinical speak here but I think it's a spectrum!), based on his early neglect and abandonment. (I sound like I'm kidding, and I am a little bit, but I think there's some truth to all of this!) One year, we got held up in New York on our way home from Russia and were gone over 2 weeks (as opposed to 10 days), and even my mom believes he's been a different cat ever since. We're still rebuilding the trust from that one, I think.

These poor guys get a lot less attention from us than they used to, and they put up with a lot more noise and someone who is extremely fascinated with their fur and tails. But at the end of the day, we still love our boys. These guys have become pretty high maintenance, as far as cats are concerned. For pity's sake, Arthur had a tooth pulled the first year we had him--he has the cutest little hole in his mouth. And Rigby used up one of his lives when James was 3 weeks old . . . after a weekend of unpleasantness, we found out he had a bladder blockage and would die unless we took him to the kitty hospital, and even that was a longshot. We have feared this and taken him to the kitty ER a couple of times over the years only to be out a nice stack of cash and get sent home with some silly medicine he hates to take. But this time, it was legit. He was in kidney failure, but God love Noah Animal Hospital, after 3 days of IVs (and what some would consider a ridiculous bill), he was back. He is currently sponging my belly, blocking my view, and attempting to sit on my arms. Thanks to absurdly priced prescription food, we have had no issues since . . . a miracle of modern veterinary medicine, I'm sure. And poor Arthur seems to be getting old. He is stuck on Rigby's bladder and kidney food, since these guys can't keep to their own bowls, and it has made him heavy. He's popped up with his own unpleasant digestive issues over the past year or so, to the point we've had to cancel plans and deal with it. He has been sick today, digestive stuff, lethargic, and not eating. He's perked up some this evening, but I think he is going to the vet tomorrow. And I will hope my little snuggler has more kitty life left in him.

Yes, the kitties can be pains in the tuchus sometimes, but I wouldn't have it any other way. If they weren't with us, who knows where they would be, and I daresay even with the changes since J was born, they like it here. And we like them. There are studies galore saying that pet owners are happier, have less stress, all kinds of stuff. Like most good things in life, it's a bit more work, but the payoff is worth it.

I wrote a bit about shelter animals before, and I will say it again: if you're considering a pet, and I hope you do, PLEASE do your research. Most breeders and pet shops perpetuate misery, it's just a fact. There are so many animals who need homes! ARPO is great at matching particular animals with your needs, to make it a good fit. Most breeds have rescue groups, and most shelters want to help you find the right animal for your family. We were planning to get a therapy dog a couple of years back, but we had a baby instead. We'll probably go through ARPO to get J a buddy after we move, and I'll choose one ready for therapy training. A well-behaved dog who can help someone . . . that's my style.

Lots of our ToT bloggers are pet lovers--check out the links to the right for more animal love!

ToT: Happy Valentime's!

For me, having a kid has brought new spark to holidays. ANY of them. "Aww, it's his first President's Day!" (Being married to an historian has its quirks.) This week is wild. . . Mardi Gras, Ash Wednesday, and Valentine's Day, all in a row. Bizarre.

Usually, Ben and I celebrate anything for at least a week. We have birthday weeks, anniversary weeks, Valentine's week, you get it. We're not terribly extravagant, but we like the little things. Usually, we would celebrate Valentine's with a fancy-ish date (often not terribly expensive), a cozy date, a cuddle-up-on-the couch date, a little gift exchange and some yummy homemade chocolate confection. We've even been known to escape to a little inn, just for fun.

Last year, we had an infant. Neither of us can remember what we did. We can remember at least 8 of our previous 10 Valentine's Days, but we cannot remember last year. Wow.

I know Valentine's is a "Hallmark Holiday," but I don't care. I don't have to give Hallmark any money to celebrate the love in my life! (Sidebar: have you noticed you can pay as much as you want to for a Valentine's card? I saw a whole row of $8 cards . . . at Walgreen's, for pity's sake!) I used to be more reserved about holidays, but not anymore. I've been known to send Valentines to grandparents, order flowers for friends, bake treats for the office, wear a red sweater or heart or rose earrings, that sort of thing.  I like loving people, and I'm pretty grateful for the people I love, so I'll take the excuse to celebrate it.

This year, that infant is a toddler, and he is a LOT of fun. So this year we are celebrating loving him, and we have some making up to do for last year, apparently.

First, I bought some cheesy decorations. Peanuts, of course . . . the kid loves "Boopy" (who is quickly becoming "Soopy"). I got a Pooh Beah too. I splurged and spent about $4.80 total on these. Then, I got really fancy and made a wreath. (Something has happened to me as a mother . . . I used to be just about the least crafty person I know.) I love this wreath . . . simple and fun and wintery enough to use beyond February. Who knew. Then, we planned Valentine's week

I think this qualifies as my first craft as an adult, aside from cakes or party stuff.
Had to add the gray, a little nod to the Buckeyes, of course.
(Thank you, Pinterest.)

My husband took me out on a real date, fancy wine and everything. LOVED it. It was a great night, much needed. And the kid woke up soon after we got home and stayed up for 2 hours . . . through his bleary eyes he said "mama be back," which tells me he was trying to wake up so he could see us  and know we were home. Clearly we need to get a nighttime sitter more often . . .Anyway, that was a great night regardless. We have family nights just about every night this week. Tuesday I go to my work Valentine's party. (This is a party for our clients, young adults with intellectual disabilities. It's going to be a blast and I can't wait.) Then it's home for pancakes Tuesday night for Mardi Gras, imposition of ashes on Wednesday, and Valentine's Day on Thursday.  I have a little something to give the men in my life. (I kinda rocked the husband's Valentine's gift this year, I won't lie. But it's also our 10 year anniversary this year.) We'll have a cozy family dinner and eat some little treats, and we'll share lots of cuddles and kisses and appreciation for how much we love each other. There might be a dance party, there usually is. And yes, Ben and & I will cuddle up in front of the TV . . . it's our Thursday TV date, standing for years now. (And it's his first Thursday since 30 Rock ended, so he will need some extra support . . . ) Friday is family movie night (in snippets), so J will get to watch more Peanuts Valentine's shows, and then Saturday his daycare has a parents' night out, so we'll grab a quick and cozy date after some time with friends.

Phew. Really, we are not fancy . . . though we are being a little fancier this year, to make up for whatever happened last year. We're just trying to celebrate all day, every day. As he gets older, I hope James can view Valentine's Day as an excuse to make sure people know they are loved . . . but I also hope he does that every day, throughout the year. To me, Valentine's Day is just a chance to make things a little bit special.

(Just Living tidbit . . . please consider fair trade chocolate for your Valentines this year, like Endangered Species (an Indiana company!) or Divine and or some other ethical brand, and let bakeries and specialty shops know they can do the same. We can love chocolate farmers, too.)

What about you? Our ToT Bloggers have some other great traditions . . . check them out!

ToT: Bucket List

Every once in awhile, it hits me that for all my perfectionism and detail obsession, I am not a long-term planner. I was not the little girl who dreamed of my wedding or being a mother; whenever I was asked what I wanted to be when I grew up, I didn't have an answer. I can be almost neurotic about doing my best in the moment and setting myself up for success, but I'm not always sure what the goal is, for good or for ill.

So, I don't have much of a bucket list. Many of my hopes and dreams are intangible . . . world peace and justice and happiness and all of that. Some of my hopes are well beyond my control and are more about faith. Some are extremely mundane. The vast majority of my hopes are about the people I love . . . watching my boy grow up healthy, strong, and happy, seeing my parents thrive well into the years, living in love with my husband for the rest of our long lives, celebrating joys with dear friends . . . with family, love, and laughter all over the place.

That said . . . there are a few things I've always wanted to do, some of which I just discovered. (Thank you, Together on Tuesday! Check out the links to the right for more ideas.) Here is my completely tangible, and personal (not idealogical), Bucket List.