Wenesday Wisdom

This one was flying around Facebook today, and I have found it to be especially true lately:

"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle."

-Plato

Wednesday Wisdom

"Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible."

-Dalai Lama

water waste

When thinking about Lent this year, one of the top running disciplines we considered focusing on was our relationship with water. We went a different route this year, but I really, REALLY think it is time for the Clarks to start paying attention.

Full confession: water shortage is an issue I have done very little to address in my personal life. But plentiful, clean water is something we take for granted in the US. And clean water is a justice issue.

For example, worldwide:

-One in eight people lack access to clean water.

-Women in particular spend hours and hours collecting water--missing school and other opportunities and endangering their health and safety.

-Every 20 seconds, a child dies from a water-related disease. We're talking infection, parasites, diarrhea, basic stuff. And in the course of writing this post, 30 children will have died.

-A 5-minute shower in the US uses more water than the typical person living in a 3rd world slum uses in one day!

This and other info is rampant on http://www.water.org/, a charity that works to address these issues around the world.

While I am aware of this, and familiar with it, and while I try to be mindful of avoiding waste in what I purchase or what I do, I have a long way to go until I can say I am having a positive impact on this issue. Maybe we don't water the lawn around here, but I take a notoriously long time in the shower . . . perhaps from my childhood growing up with little privacy, in a somewhat cold house with just a bathtub. (It was a warm, cozy place for an introvert disguised as an extravert. ) Just one example.

Will taking a shorter shower impact the global water situation? I can't say. But it will make a difference around here, and our current water use in this country is not sustainable. Our water is not as clean or plentiful as many of us, myself included, think it is. Think about the gazillion products most of us contribute to the water supply on a daily basis . . . check out any of my posts labeled chemicals to read more, or do some searching for yourself. I have a lot of searching and learning left to do on this matter. I am planning to read Unquenchable by Robert Glennon to learn a bit more.

What about you? What can you teach the rest of us? What are some simple, daily ways we can change our water habits to impact the world towards justice?

Wednesday Wisdom

"We fear that we are inadequate, but our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves: 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be these things? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There is nothing enlightening about shrinking so that other people around you won't feel insecure. We are all meant to shine as children do. We are born to manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically releases others."

-Nelson Mandela

Wednesday Wisdom

Today kind of chewed me up and spit me out. Actually, the whole week has been kind of rough. All in a day's work, really, but sometimes it becomes a bit much. A client was hospitalized, had to file a child abuse report, cussed out by a mental health patient, teenager joined a gang, a young lady is in a dangerous relationship, a client newly homeless, and I absorbed the full brunt of a 6-year-old meltdown. Not to mention lots of missed appointments and fresh budget cuts at work. This doesn't include my colleagues' icky weeks! All of this is manageable, and really there is more hope in each of these situations than this simple list would convey, it can just add up and weigh me down after awhile. My goal is to get through tomorrow without any yelling, swearing, or tears. I've made it so far, I just need my clients to get on board. Then we can get to work making things better!

In the meantime, as my lovely colleage Sarah says, quoting Finding Nemo like the brilliant child therapist she is,

Just keep swimming.

Red/Black

I love being married to smarty-pants, socially-minded historian. That means that on Father's Day, which also happened to be Juneteenth this year, we spent the day at the Red/Black exhibit at the Eiteljorg Museum. We've been meaning to go since it opened. It's one of those fascinating places where our two disciplines meet. In fact, opening day hosted lectures from historians and social workers alike. It was fascinating! But more on that later.

First, Juneteenth? Yes, this is one of those interesting and important days I had never heard of until I was married to this smarty-pants guy. It turns out Juneteenth is the oldest commemorative date for celebrating the end of slavery in the US. Pretty important! I'll leave it to you to learn more, if you're interested. In this house, where studying the effects of slavery on 20th century African Americans and dealing with long-term effects of oppression are regular occurances, Juneteenth gets some notice. Not to mention the millions of people still enslaved today, but more on THAT later too.

Lucinda Davis, 1937, former slave of the Creek tribe, from Library of Congress

So, we FINALLY went to Red/Black, third trimester and all. It was worth it. Eiteljorg is the museum of Native American history, and this exhibit explores the intersection of American Indians with African Americans throughout our country's history. We saw documents of the ugliness of slavery, including a receipt for purchase of a 16 year old girl. We heard oral histories taken in the 1930s of African-American freed people (still called freemen, regardless of the womanhood of the person above, but I digress . . .) who were one enslaved by various tribes. (Ben had read many of these before, but I was riveted.) We read how families intertwined and culture overlapped. Both of us learned some pretty shocking things and some pretty encouraging things.

Examples . . . there were times when Native peoples and African slaves were enslaved side-by-side, and then fought their oppressors side-by-side. There were times when certain tribes owned African descended slaves themselves. There were times, even in recent history, when certain groups were quick to reinstate dividing lines between those groups, seeking 'pure' bloodlines and excluding African descendents from citizenship within the tribe. And there were times when groups worked together culturally, socially, and politically, for unity and positive change.

One display asked the question (paraphrased) "Why do people in power exploit others, and when will it end?" I wish we knew. There are more slaves living today than there were during the height of US slavery and legal slave trade--some estimates at 29.2 million. These slaves work in sweatshops, agriculture, manufacturing, housekeeping, massage parlors, nail salons, strip clubs, brothels, you name it. And despite our best efforts, our culture is designed such that you and I likely benefit from this ugliness on a regular basis.

I walked away with another perspective on how easy it is for people to segregate themselves and label the 'other,' if it benefits them. Let those people worry about themselves, I have enought to attend to. I also saw how beautiful it is when people cast those distinctions aside and come together--that is where true change can happen. One man, descended from both African slaves and a native group, shared that he was doubly strong because he had two blood lines--and this in a time when it was illegal for a White person to marry outside the race. There have been brave people throughout history who have changed the culture--even just the culture in their corner of the world--and made the world safer, brighter, and richer for it.

I want to be like that! What if we all were? Could we eradicate slavery in its current form? I believe we could, I really do.

So yes, we were inspired. And humbled.

And we are planning to commemorate Juneteenth each year, from now on.

Wednesday Wisdom

I grew up loving Anne of Green Gables, both the books and the Wonderworks movies on PBS. Not sure I can pinpoint why . . . was it her imagination? Her pluck? Her smarts? Or maybe it was the red hair. I know I loved her ability to love the people in her world, despite her circumstances. And I loved how those people grew to treasure her and all her uniqueness. My family and I would watch this together, over and over. It's no wonder I grew up to do the work I do.

So, out of Anne's mouth . . .

"Tomorrow is always fresh, with no mistakes in it . . . yet."

-Lucy Maud Montgomery

Long time, no write

Hi, Friends.

I can't believe how long it's been since I've written!

Why. Hmm . . . .

Sure, a lot has happened. Sure, I've been as busy as ever. Same old reasons we all have when we get behind.

Also, we have some new excitement around our home, with a little Clark expected to arrive in August.

We are feeling so blessed, and so humbled. And I am feeling so tired. :) But other than tired, I am feeling great! No complaints, just gratitude.

With this change, I am finding myself wanting less and less time with a computer on my lap. Between my work and keeping up with various other commitments, there is a LOT of computer time around here. You can't blame me if most nights hanging out with my husband and my kitties is a bit more appealing than hanging out with Blogger! :)

Also, I have been quite challenged in just living with this change in mind. Have you ever searched for fair trade maternity clothes? What about car seats, baby bedding, etc? It's rough out there! I have been looking and looking, and I'll be sharing some about this as the weeks go on. I've found my best bet so far is to go with secondhand and handmade as often as possible, and I am so thankful for generous people in my world who are willing to share. I've been trying to keep it simple, too, avoiding most of the clutter the big box stores seem to think we need.

I've also been thinking more and more about raising a child in a way that helps him be conscious about the world around him. Taking the parent role will be quite different from the professional role, but we're looking forward to it. So more to come on that topic, too.

So, all of this to say, I'm back! Don't be shocked if I write a bit less than when I began, but I hope to share a bit more in the coming months. I've missed you all! :)

Wednesday Wisdom

April is the cruelest month . . .

I first read those words by TS Eliot in Mr Comiskey's Great Books class in high school. I didn't realize they might actually be true.

It's been a heavy few weeks, for a number of reasons. April seems to hold a lot of loss. Today alone marks the anniversary of a lot of deeply painful events, for people around the country and for people near to my heart.

But, in order to feel a great loss, one has to have known great love.

So, in honor of that great love, this week's Wednesday Wisdom quote makes its second appearance:

"Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened."

-Dr. Seuss

Wednesday Wisdom

Ok, so I've been a little MIA lately. It's not that I don't want to write, it's just I've been pulled in a few different directions lately (who isn't). But in the middle of the crazy, I'm trying to live mindfully, enjoy each moment, and celebrate the joys of life (while minimizing obligations that don't feed my or anyone else's soul). Spring is here, and Easter is coming. There is a lot to celebrate! "There are only two ways to life your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is though everything is a miracle."

-Albert Einstein

Wednesday Wisdom

I haven't written much about work on here, with good reason. I am a social worker/therapist with a private agency and I work with children and families of all kinds who are dealing with the state child welfare system. I love my job, and sometimes I am amazed and humbled at the capacity for healing and strength in wounded people. Sometimes, it feels too big, too sad, and just plain discouraging. It's been a rough week and I'm holding out for a glimmer of hope. Thankfully, I have some gracious supervisors, one of whom directed me to this story by Loren Eiseley. I first read this a few years back when an adoptive mother sent it my way, thinking of her sweet boys. It was just the reminder I needed this week . . .

art from desktop-3d.com

Once upon a time, there was a wise man who used to go to the ocean to do his writing. He had a habit of walking on the beach before he began his work.

One day, as he was walking along the shore, he looked down the beach and saw a human figure moving like a dancer. He smiled to himself at the thought of someone who would dance to the day, and so, he walked faster to catch up.

As he got closer, he noticed that the figure was that of a young man, and that what he was doing was not dancing at all. The young man was reaching down to the shore, picking up small objects, and throwing them into the ocean.

He came closer still and called out "Good morning! May I ask what it is that you are doing?"

The young man paused, looked up, and replied "Throwing starfish into the ocean." "

"I must ask, then, why are you throwing starfish into the ocean?" asked the somewhat startled wise man.

To this, the young man replied, "The sun is up and the tide is going out. If I don't throw them in, they'll die."

Upon hearing this, the wise man commented, "But, young man, do you not realize that there are miles and miles of beach and there are starfish all along every mile? You can't possibly make a difference!"

At this, the young man bent down, picked up yet another starfish, and threw it into the ocean. As it met the water, he said, "It made a difference for that one."

And so, we work. Blessings,

Daily Detox: Hair Care

So this isn't a terribly Lenten topic at all, but I've been meaning to write for awhile per a friend's request. I've finally [almost] completely detoxed my hair care routine, and that is tough for a curly girl! If your hair is naturally curly, or even wavy, I think you might find some useful info here.

First to detox: negativity. All you have to do is Google "curly hair unprofessional" to see the bias against curls in the world. Ridiculous, and honestly it smacks of some racism. Why fight with your hair? My personal care handbook for safety and environmental responsibility, No More Dirty Looks, was inspired by an ugly turn of events when the authors were searching for the perfect fix for their frizz. One of them has big, wild curls like I do. And when she began allowing her hair to do what God and nature intended, it was healthier, tidier, and prettier.

Now I've only attempted straightening my mane a few times, and it was really not worth it. But I've spent far too much time trying to figure out how to 'control' my unruly mane. Now that we get along, I have more time to spend on much more important things! My routine is streamlined, my products are fewer and safer, and the result is much improved (if you ask me).

I have been playing with natural haircare for about 5 years now, to varying success. No More Dirty Looks helped me find products that actually work. And after years of investigating curl care techniques, the Curly Girl method is the best I've found. I'll leave it to you to read the hows and whys. In a nutshell, conventional products are too harsh, bad for our hair, bad for our scalps and lungs, and bad for the environment. Here's what I'm doing now:

Shampoo: No more than every 3 days, barring secondhand smoke exposure (ick). When I do shampoo, I use a gentle, sulfate-free cleanser, such as Alaffia products. Some conditioners have enough surfectant to do the job, too. I focus on cleansing my scalp, using my fingertips to massage the product in a circular pattern. No lather needed! (Foam strips the hair of essential moisture, anyway.) I rinse well, focusing on the scalp, but I touch my curls as little as possible.

Conditioner: Once a week, I do a conditioning treatment. When I wash my hair, I use a deeper conditioner than normal. When I don't, I use a leave-in conditioner from Beautiful Curls. This stuff is the best I have found! I lighly coat the top of my hair, then I use my fingers and a bit more product to work through any tangles. No combs here! If I think there is a lot of product left, I might rinse lightly. I leave the product on until I get out of the shower, and I leave my curls alone.

Drying: I use a t-shirt to dry my hair right away. I lay it over my hand and scrunch my curls to get excess water out. The end!

Styling: I use an aloe-vera lotion when my hair is wet. 3 parts aloe vera gel to 1 part water, plus a few drops of lavender oil for scent. I lightly run some over the top of my hair, and then I scrunch it in to my curls. I use about 4 clips to prop my roots up (check out Curly Girl for details) and let it air dry. I sleep on my curls with no problem, but it works well in the morning if you have lots of time to air dry. In the morning, I might use an extra product (if it's raining or I have something super important at the end of my day), and I'm loving Kinky-Curly's Spiral Spritz. I use just a little plus some water to scrunch my curls up. If I have some weirdness at the scalp, I run my hands under my curls, close to my scalp, and wiggle them a bit until the curls break up. I'm finishing with a spritz of hairspray, which my favorite stylist calls a curly girl's best friend. It took a LONG time to find a natural hairspray I actually like, but the ladies at No More Dirty Looks were right on when they suggested Simply Organic.

Whew! That sounds like a lot, but I promise it's simple--especially compared with frying my hair every day with a blow dryer or flat iron. No, thanks. And my hair looks still looks fresh at the end of the day, which was not the case before.

These products cost more than drugstore brands, but about the same or less than salon brands (aside from Simply Organic--that's a splurge). They also have better quality ingredients that don't hurt our water supply in consumption or production (at least, not as much as conventional petroleum based products).

Another bonus: Alaffia and Beautiful Curls are made with fair trade shea butter that supports women's cooperatives in various parts of the world. So, in celebrating natural texture and trying to keep my body and the environment healthy, I am also supporting women around the world. Gotta love that!

So there you have it, the life and times of my newly detoxed curls. If you have curls of your own, I hope you find this helpful! If you've been hiding your curls or waves, I hope I've inspired you to give them another try. They are beautiful! Have a lovely week!

Wednesday Wisdom

Here's a quote I heart from the movie I Heart Huckabee's:

"Anything you could ever want or be you already have and are."

Have a wonderful rest of the week!

Daily Detox: Screen Time

With Lent comes lots of opportunities to detox, reset, purge, refine, discipline, learn. People do this in many ways, whether simply giving up chocolate (harder for some than others!), starting new disciplines, focusing on changing attitudes, or trying to change a lifestyle. While personal Lenten (or non-Lenten, for that matter) discipline might best be done in private, I thought I would think through a few that have gotten some attention in recent years.

First up: screen time. Television, internet, video games, smart phones, any electronic gadget with a compelling screen qualifies. One study shows the average US resident watches 28 hours of television a week--4 hours a day--and spends even more time online. And it's no wonder--not only can these activities be fun, but they can produce an addictive effect! Just like with any other compulsive behavior, screen time can stimulate our brain's reward system, boosting dopamine levels and causing us to crave more, more, more.

Which is why I, like many others, have had those days where I started out with good intentions on the internet and ended up wasting more time than I ever thought possible. And who has time for that?? Furthermore, time spent with television or the internet is time spent away from flesh and blood connection, nature, emotional or personal growth, or any host of lovely human experiences. All those fast moving images and bright lights can leave us feeling zapped. It affects our abilities to sleep, to interpret subtle human cues, to relate well to people we love. It affects our stress levels, adding cognitive clutter to already very busy brains. I've even read that lots of technology correlates to lower sexual satisfaction!

I've been teased before about being a stick-in-the-mud who hates technology. We went without cable for years. I was slow to get Facebook. I don't remember the last time I played a video game (Super Mario Brothers on Super Nintendo?). I refuse to get a smart phone. (Too many OCD tendencies--no one needs me to have THAT much access to my work email!) But I, too, am capable of falling down the slippery slope of too much screen time.

So here's one idea: cut back, on purpose! I have tried limiting myself to checking email accounts (including Facebook) NO MORE than twice a day. For some people, that might seem like a lot. For others, maybe for procrastinators who spend a LOT of time on the computer for work/research purposes, this is a very good idea. Around here, we try to avoid channel surfing. We try to watch TV on purpose, just sometimes. Old habits die hard, though. It is shocking (and somewhat disappointing) how difficult this can be, but I can tell my anxiety level is dropping and my peace of mind is increasing. I have more time and energy for things that are really important, including other people. Better sleep, better relationships, better me. It's so worth it!

Wednesday Wisdom

Here's a longtime favorite, perfectly appropriate for the Lenten season, I think. Some people think John Lennon said it, but he may not be the first. I am not sure where this originated . . .

"Everything will be OK in the end. If it's not OK, it's not the end."

Ash Wednesday Wisdom

Some people find this depressing. I find it comforting. No matter how beautiful or crazy the world gets, we are all made of the same stuff. As Kimya Dawson says, thinking about this makes me feel serene, like "I am grounded, I am humbled, I am one with everything" because "we all become important when we realize our goal should be to figure out our role within the context of the whole."


So, thank you Ecclesiastes, Ash Wednesday liturgy, and Kimya.



"Remember you are dust, and to dust you shall return."

Happy Women's Day/Mardi Gras!

There's too much to celebrate today to post about detox! There will be plenty of that in Lent.

Today is Mardi Gras, otherwise known as Fat Tuesday. If you know me at all, you know I'm not a big partier. Not a lot of excess and revelry for me today, but I will eat some pancakes and indulge a bit. Today I will find as many opportunities to celebrate as I can, even during a full day of work, work, work.

Even more importantly to me, it's International Women's Day! In the US, this holiday is sometimes overlooked but growing in popularity. Around the world, it's treated much differently. Our Russian friends are celebrating Spring today and honoring their woman with flowers, songs, and extra doses of kindness. In other places, women are gathering to celebrate their achievements and fight for greater equality. This is a great day to celebrate the women in history who paved the way for us to raise our voices and follow our dreams. While things aren't perfect here in the US, we've come a long way over the last century.

This is also a great day to educate ourselves about women's issues around the world, such as reproductive and maternal health, modern day slavery, poverty, equal rights, microenterprise and independence, and education issues. Check out CARE, Doma International, or another organization of your choice to learn more. The women of the world need each other!

Photo Credit ABC

Happy Women's Day! Let the good times roll!

Wednesday Wisdom

Gotta love when the Sunday lesson rings loud and clear. We're into the good stuff right now, and it sounds fresh this time around.

"Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? . . . Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his [or her] life? . . . But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all of these things will be given to you as well. Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself."

--Jesus, via Matthew 6

Hmmm. Mindfulness. Living justly. Loving mercy. Walking humbly. Still trying, still growing!

Finding a New Friend

I've been thinking and thinking about getting a dog lately, then having him or her trained as a therapy dog. I don't think that's going to be happening any time soon, but maybe one day. When I do, I will get a shelter dog. I just can't imagine any other way. If I spend my life on issues of justice and caring for the least of these, that seems like the only route.

Have you seen the Shelter Pet Project ads? They tear at my heart every time, especially the ones with the kitties. I could definitely become a crazy cat lady! This video is a combo of our two little guys' stories--one was a street kitty, and the other was stuck at the shelter. They are just the sweetest little guys and the best behaved cats I've ever met!

Any animal person who's adopted a shelter pet can tell you what a joy they can be. Many of them have much sweeter temperments than inbred petshop animals or animals from breeders. Without us, they are alone and face a grim fate. Of course, you have to be purposeful and find the right fit for your family and lifestyle--responsible pet ownership only, please! If you're thinking about it at all, check out Shelter Pet Project for all kinds of good info. It's so worth it!

Wednesday Wisdom

An oldie but a goodie. I got this one from a tea bag, and it stuck.


"When ego is lost, limit is lost."

-Anonymous

Daily Detox: Mindfulness

Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction is a western term for what many people simply call meditation. Meditation can take many forms, but for me, it a chance to clear the mind, recenter, and open myself to spiritual and mental growth. Mindfulness brings me back to the present moment and teaches me how to 'be here now.'

There is a new study out showing the brain science of meditation. There is some level of scientific proof revealing what ancient practitioners have said all along: that meditation increases memory and empathy, changes sense of self, and reduces stress and anxiety.

I've experienced this in varying ways, whether at a retreat, in yoga class, or in personal study here and there. I've always wanted to delve deeper. The perfectionism post awhile back reflected my handling of this goal--one more thing on the to-do list that wouldn't get done unless I could do it completely. Pretty unrealistic, though.

At the recommendation of a mother I work with, I picked up A Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction Workbook in hope of learning new ways to integrate this practice into my busy life. It's sat by my bedside for weeks now, waiting for me to be 'ready,' whatever that means. My mind has gotten busier and busier over the last few months, and picking up this discipline has seemed too daunting. Yesterday, though, lovely instructor Lisa at Cityoga integrated a simple 5 minute meditation into our slow flow class. It was so peaceful, and quite possible at my level of mind-clutter. That evening, when I offered up my excuse of a too-busy mind to allow me to practice regularly, a good friend called me out and reminded me that it's probably just the right time to start.

So, I'm starting! Time to detox my crazy noggin and refocus on the present. I'm taking a few minutes this evening to go beyond browsing the pages of this book and begin to study mindfulness in a new way. I'm hoping to increase the calm in my life and give my body a break from tension and anxiety. I'm hoping for deeper spiritual understanding and stronger connection to the world and the Divine. I'm hoping to learn a bit about myself and become a better person for the people around me. But first, I have to allow myself the time to practice. I'll let you know how it goes.

Wednesday Wisdom

"You must learn to be still in the midst of activity and to be vibrantly alive in repose."

--Indira Ghandi

Haves and Have Nots

I'm all about responsible use of resources. We don't carry debt in our home (aside from mortgage and student loans, and we're diligent with those). We live below our means. If we couldn't pay cash for it, we do without. I'm grateful we've been able to make these choices.

That said, there are instances where people are stuck with 2 bad choices. Do you go into debt or do without the transportation that gets you to work? Do you go into debt or do without medicine that keeps you going?

This new proposed budget gives me a headache. I really, really value fiscal responsibility. But not as much as I value protecting vulnerable members of our society. What is more important to us, as a society?

How did we get to a place where certain people 'deserve' to be wealthy? The argument I hear over and over again is how hard they work for it. That drives me crazy. Why?

Guess who else works hard? Garbage collectors. Certified Nurses Assistants. Construction workers. Warehouse staff. Servers in restaurants. Maintenance workers. Teachers. People who work 3 icky jobs to cover their bills. While I'm at it, why not add social workers?

So that's why tax breaks for the top echelon of society give me a headache. You can find wealthy people who work harder than many average or low-income people. You can find plenty of low-income people who bust their tails every day while some wealthy people rely on other people's hard work to sit pretty. Comparing someone who was born into a wealthy family and inherited a position at a big firm to someone who was born into nothing, treated with little dignity, and worked her way into a $9.25/hr job at age 18, who do you think works harder?

There are all kinds of stories from all kinds of backgrounds, and they are all worthy of respect. The problem comes when society tells us the story of the wealthy person is more valuable than the story of the hard working single mom, or the lonely widow on a fixed low income.

There is disgusting behavior across the socio-economic spectrum. I often hear people decrying the ugliness of welfare fraud, and I agree. If you don't need food stamps, or if you can get by without pulling a big social security check, it would be nice to save those funds for people who truly need them to survive in this culture. We would save a lot of money that way. BUT, how many people in the top 10% income bracket need the luxuries and excess they can afford?

Maybe these painful cuts to programs like heating assistance for low-income citizens or community action programs for struggling neighborhoods wouldn't hurt so bad if I knew everyone was chipping in to keep our society strong. Maybe it wouldn't be so hard to take if I knew we were cutting the fat in our enormous defense fund, or if I knew the only people receiving the assistance that remains were the people who truly needed it.

Maybe the cuts wouldn't be so bad if I saw the best of human behavior, across the socioeconomic spectrum. Maybe people struggling to survive can band together and support each other, although I certainly know that is easier said than done. Maybe people with large incomes who believe in charity over government assistance can fully engage themselves in giving--and not just in charity, but in true social change that unites our society instead of dividing us into haves and have nots. Maybe we can work together across economic lines to build a more just society.

Maybe. But for now, we're stuck with 2 bad choices: an unsustainable budget that tries to care for our struggling citizens, or a slightly more sustainable budget that leaves people even more vulnerable.

Maybe we can find a better way.

Daily Detox: Disinfection

As far as detox goes, a little chlorine bleach or anti-bacterial stuff isn't so bad. Most of it is considered a skin irritant, which we know from winters full of hand sanitizer or scrubbing the bathroom with bleach water. Our hands can dry out and peel like crazy! And of course, when using bleach we have to dilute it and ventilate the area, and it still stings our eyes and burns our lungs. But is that all? What's really at risk when using bleach or other disinfectants?

When looking at triclosan, a popular anti-microbial in many washes and creams, the ladies at No More Dirty Looks report there's no real health benefit to using it unless someone is at risk for certain infections. There's always talk of anti-germ agents creating super-bugs, when the germs adapt and survive anyway. It can disrupt your hormones via thyroid issues, too.

Clorox themselves report bleach as a corrosive, saying in certain concentrations it can damage skin, lungs, eyes, and heart. The generally agreed-upon limit is that bleach is safe for normal use. However, the Material Safety Data Sheet says very plainly that no exposure limit has been established. Meaning, scientifically, no one knows when bleach usage crosses from safe to unsafe. Don't forget, with everyone in your neighborhood using it, it goes into the water supply. Eek.

I'm not a scientist, so this is obviously nowhere near rigorous. Count this as my personal preference. I'll use bleach to disinfect when there has been illness in my home, but that's about it. I use hand sanitizer after playing with some sickly children at work. Other than that, no thanks. It makes me feel weird, and that just doesn't seem good for me, my family, or the environment.

Alternatives? Vinegar! Seriously! It's an acid and it has disinfectant properties. Some people can't handle the smell, but when it dries, the smell is gone. I promise! Also, hydrogen peroxide. 1/2 cup of peroxide mixed with a gallon of water will take care of a household worth of cleaning needs. We love the resultes, and it feels good to know there are very few potentially harmful chemicals in our home.

Remember: BE CAREFUL when mixing any kind of cleaning chemical, natural or not. Make sure you're not making a toxic potion!

Here's my real question. It's pretty easy for me to find safety info on cosmetics. It's pretty easy to find natural cleaning solutions. What I can't seem to find is a solid database of safety info for cleaning products. I have learned not to trust labels or company claims, but where can I go to get unbiased info? Any thoughts?

Wednesday Wisdom

. . . a little bit late.

"It is very wrong for people to feel deeply sad when they lose some money, yet when they waste precious moments of their lives they do not have the slightest feeling of repentance."

--Dalai Lama

Here's to learning to use well and savor all of the moments we've been given.

Sleepies

Hello, blog world!

Considering the ice capades of the last week (even church was closed today!), you'd think I would have found some time to blog. But I didn't! No Daily Detox this week. I didn't even post a Wednesday quote!

I had the best of intentions, but we ended up with some winter hibernation. Sure, I worked from home most of the week, but I also took some major breaks. Reading. Husband time. Lots of quiet. I felt like a cat!

Anyone who knew me way-back-when knows in the past, I might have used the snow days differently. I might have gone on an organizational/cleaning binge, staying up odd hours until the job is done. I might have caught up on the to-do list, regardless of how exhausted it left me. I might have gone on a crazy midnight escapade. A college roommate recently reminded me of my habit of waking up at 4 AM after a fun night to finish my homework. And in high school, there were a few of us who wore our sleep deficits as badges.

No more! I have now determined sleep is more important than self-made obligations. If I had learned that when I was younger, perhaps I could have gotten my tasks done faster, and better. Sleep is not for the weak or lazy! Without sleep, we're slower, dumber, grouchy, even less moral. Sleep is not just rest for the brain; the brain is super-busy while we sleep, integrating data from our day. Some studies show that loss of one night's sleep equates to 30% decrease in cognitive function. Wish I could have told that to my 11th grade over-achieving self!

Of course, when we're young, we think we're invincible. I probably wouldn't have listened anyway. And there are times in life where sleep seems like the ultimate luxury. This is the first time since I was a kid that I can remember being fully rested, and I have to say, it's pretty stinkin awesome! Better enjoy it while I can.

What does this have to do with just living? There is a lot to be said for taking good care of ourselves so we can do our part for the world. Every day I make important decisions for the families I work with, based on morals and ethics. I owe it to them to be at my best. Plus, there's a lot to be said for enjoying the simple gifts in life.

For some interesting reading on the human brain, check out Brain Rules by John Medina.

Happy Sabbath!

Daily Detox: Fragrance

You were going to get a post about cosmetics or personal care, but I realized that is just too BIG to be a daily detox! That is a project that takes years, as I know from experience. If you care about finding products that are safe for you and your family, enhance the lives of the people who make them, AND work, that's a serious undertaking!

photo: beautorium.com

So, I'm starting with Fragrance. You'll see it on your ingredients list as "fragrance," "perfume," or "parfum," or some other version of that. It's in perfume, of course, shampoo, lotion, lip gloss, laundry detergent, candles, air freshener, you name it. In a nutshell, it's poison.

Ok, I'm being dramatic. It's not always poison, but it often is! Because of trade secret laws, it's ridiculously difficult to find out what's really in those chemical formulas. But most of us know from experience that some fragrances cause headaches. Some cause our eyes to itch and water, our throats to close, our breath to change. Nearly everyone knows someone who is highly sensitive to added fragrance--and there are reasons for that! Those poor souls get a tough rap, but they might just be ahead of the rest of us in caring for their health.

Some fragrances contain neurotoxins. (Read: brain poison.) Some contain known allergens. Most contain materials we don't know enough about. Most contain pthalates, which mess with your hormones, can cause birth defects, or cause cancer. This stuff can also irritate the skin and make us look bad.

Of course, there are many conversations around the relatively low levels of these products in our self-care supplies. But I'm not interested in using them at all! Some of them accumulate in the body. All of them accumulate in the water supply. Think about it: millions of people using synthetically scented body wash, which goes down the drain, into the sewer system, and back into the water. And if you're thinking we can't absorb these items via skin, think again. We absorb birth control hormones, nicotine, and antibiotics transdermally. What's the difference?

So what can we do?

-Avoid the ingredients fragrance, perfume, or parfum. Be careful when you see a label that says unscented--sometimes fragrance is added to mask the scent of other ingredients. Check the label!

-If you like to use scents, try natural solutions. Use products scented with essential oils (though be careful--you may be sensistive to some of these.) Freshen your home by boiling citrus peels on the stove. Make natural febreeze-type spray out of 1:1 vodka-water mixture, plus a few drops of essential oils for fun. Be creative--you'll find tons of good stuff on the internet!

I am loving LAVANILA for fragrance and other personal care products. It's a bit of a splurge, but certainly less than your department store fragrances. They have all kinds of yummy products without all the yucky extras. Now if we can get them to clarify their sourcing, ensuring people are treated well across the supply chain, it would be just about perfect.

Aura Cacia is a good source for essential oils. They do a pretty good job with their sourcing, too.

What about you? How do you avoid pesky chemicals in fragrance?

Again, check out No More Dirty Looks for more info. Their book is my personal handbook and where I find lots of this stuff.

Wednesday Wisdom

Here's a good one. I first saw this at The Journey last year, and I was reminded when a fine gentleman quoted it this week.

"Don't ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive."

-Howard Thurman

Daily Detox: Shabbat Shalom

Ben and I have been working toward a deeper understanding of rest, or Sabbath. Or, as our Jewish friends call it, Shabbat.

Our culture is SO busy. We're always moving, always striving, there's always something to accomplish or some information to learn. Even when we're sitting still, we're stuck to our screens for (sometimes false) connection to the outside world or stimulation. All of this commotion can leave us unconnected to who we are, to those we love, or to the divine.

Enter Sabbath--a truly un-American concept, at least in our times. I am still recovering from the notion that rest is selfish--and I know plenty of people who still hold that belief. But here's an interesting thought: Sabbath is the fourth commandment. Fourth! Before no killing, no adultery, and the like. Sounds like someone smarter than us knows what we need.

I'm not going to comment on the historical or doctrinal implications of Sabbath. That's not my expertise. But I know it is intended as a day of rest, a day to spend with the people we love, and a day to refocus on spiritual matters.

Selfish? I should hope not. How can we be our best selves and bring a light into the world if we are so weakened by busy-ness and blinded by self-importance? The world will go on spinning if we take a break. I promise. What good is our giving to people in our communities and around the world if we cannot even take the time to give to the people in our own families? How can we remain connected to our source and grow into who we are intended to be if we stay to busy to check in spiritually?

And so, a real day of rest and reflection is a necessary detox in our home. We've experimented with different ways to do this. We've stayed away from media (including computers, so you can see this is not today's approach). We've focused on friends and family. We've spent time in solitary reflection and chosen readings particular to the Sabbath. (Check out Abraham Heschel, for starts.) As it turns out, our best Sabbath comes with flow time--time with no schedule, where we can just be together, celebrate, and enjoy the simple things of life.

What about you? How do you rest, reset, detox day-to-day? However you do, we hope that everything is whole and complete, as it was intended to be. Shabbat Shalom!

Wednesday Wisdom

In high school, ages ago, I visited Mrs. Reed's office every single day. She was our acting and theater teacher, and I was lucky enough to have her for four straight years of theater study. She had this hanging on the wall, and I remember it to this day. Still great advice.

"There is only one you for all time. Fearlessly be yourself."

--Anthony Rapp

Super Bowl and Child Slavery

The Super Bowl is coming! While my team is sadly out, I am still a football fan. I'll be watching through the playoffs (and hoping the Bears ride it out), partying and eating and all that good stuff. And as a football fan, I believe it is my responsibility to chime in on the issue of human trafficking, as described by Change.org:

Every year, children as young as 11 are trafficked involuntarily to Super Bowl cities. There, football fans – usually men, often inebriated – will pay traffickers to have sex with them.
The Texas Attorney General estimates these kids have a life expectancy of just seven years from the time they're first trafficked.

This year, the Super Bowl Host Committee is charged "to engage in responsible planning . . . to ensure the readiness of North Texas to host the first Super Bowl in the Cowboys’ new stadium."

Local anti-trafficking groups have repeatedly offered to help the Committee use its influence to educate fans and the public about the dangers of child trafficking -- which could help to prevent thousands of rapes and abuses at America's biggest sporting event.

But the Host Committee has refused to take meaningful action. And thousands of children will pay the price.

Tell the 2011 Super Bowl Host Committee to take a stand against child trafficking.

In Dallas, a terrific local organization called Traffick911 has created the "I'm Not Buying It" campaign. They've offered the Host Committee free PSAs, posters, banners and informational cards to educate the public and protect children from being abused and raped.

But the Host Committee refuses to display the information.

The Committee is working hard right now to generate good publicity for North Texas and the game, so public pressure at this moment will be especially powerful.

Tell the Super Bowl Host Committee that they have a responsibility to protect the children who'll be trafficked to Texas for the Super Bowl:

http://change.org/petitions/view/ask_the_super_bowl_host_committee_to_stand_up_and_protect_children

After you sign, please forward this information to friends and family to let them know about this crisis, and how they can help. And, click here to share this campaign on Facebook.

This is a simple but important way to let the Super Bowl committees know that fans are watching, and we care about the safety of our children! None of these officials want to see children abused and exploited during the Super Bowl, but we have to help them see that their silence is dangerous and they have the power to make a change. If these prone-to-drink men know the risk, or their friends know what to watch for, they can make choices that keep children safe. Further, this is a chance to bring an understanding the horrors of human trafficking to a whole new audience--to more people who can make a change. Awareness is key!

Should the 2012 season come to be, our city is hosting the Super Bowl. We can get started fighting against this abuse now, let Texas know that Indiana is watching, and do our part to keep children safe. Please sign the petition and spread the word!

Daily Detox: Plastic

We've been cutting down on plastic for years at home, for lots of reasons. Making plastic produces tons of harmful byproducts (and often consumes fossil fuels). Plastic sits in landfills for a looooong time, taking up space and leaching harmful chemicals. Many plastics leach BPA, pthalates, dioxin, and other harmful chemicals into their contents. So, when we're trying to be healthy but using water bottles that emit BPA into their contents, we're hydrating with water that can disrupt our hormones or cause cancer.

For more details about how plastics impact your life, do a quick google search or visit one of my favorites, Green America. Until then, here are some quick tips of how to decrease plastic in your life.

-"4,5,1, and 2. All the rest are bad for you!" When shopping for plastic products or anything sold in plastic, flip the container over an check the number on the bottom. Stick to the numbers listed. Watch out, because favorites (such as yogurt) often come in 6 or 7. Some companies, like Stonyfield Farm, are developing safer packaging.

-Think twice before you buy. Do you really need it? Do you have something at home that could work just as well?

-Use reusable canvas shopping bags instead of plastic bags from the store. Bring your own cloth bags for bulk purchases or produce. You can find cute ones at Etsy and Fair Indigo.

-In the kitchen, try glass or ceramic instead of plastic as often as possible. Don't use plastic in the microwave!

-Recycle the plastic you do have! Your disposable food savers could become a picnic table or sports equipment.

We love Preserve plastics. Everything is recycled--and they will take your #5 yogurt cups that are hard to recycle elsewhere. The plastics are BPA and pthalate free. Plus, the colors are great and the products are cute! It's much more fun to store my leftover soup in an apple green, screw-top food saver that I know is safe for me and had a minimal impact on the environment.

What does your family do to minimize plastic use at home?

Wednesday Wisdom

In keeping with the theme of celebrating enough, my mom sent me this one. Loss is a part of life. It happens, and it can wreck your world. But even among devastating loss, there is much to be thankful for.

In the Voyage of the Dawn Treader movie (can't recall from the book, will have to read again!), King Caspian says "I've spent too long wanting what was taken from me and not what I as given."

Anyone who's experienced a major loss can likely relate. I can. I can also relate to the joy that comes with accepting and celebrating all that I have been given.

Cheers!

Daily Detox: Coffee

This is not one of those caffeine or no-caffeine discussions. That's up to you. My husband and I have debated this endlessly to no avail.

Instead, I suggest switching to Fair Trade, Organic Coffee only.

Bigwig coffee companies, like Nestle, Kraft, and Proctor & Gamble, get to set the prices they pay the farmers. If they are paying farmers disgustingly low prices, farmers don't make enough to pay their workers well or support their families. While farmers in Vietnam are selling for 60% of production costs, or a woman in Tanzania made $15 for a year's crop, I'm sure CEOs of big companies are making plenty. Not to mention the slavery and child labor happening in coffee plantations around the world.

For more information on the plight of coffee workers, check out Everyday Justice or Green America.

With coffee workers receiving 1-6% of what we actually pay for coffee, our cheap coffee has a global impact. Coffee is a luxury; human dignity is not.

I wouldn't work for pennies unless I was desperate. Why should the people who grow my food?

Fair trade isn't perfect, but it seeks to make sure the workers to bring the coffee to our tables are treated well and paid a fair wage for their hard work. Organic coffee is better for the environment and workers, and organic coffee is often shade-grown, which is better for our forests.

It's getting easier to find fair trade, and the the quality is superior to Maxwell House and Folger's. Trader Joe's has a lot of fair trade options, but look carefully--some are fair, some are not. Your typical grocery store is starting to carry some, too. If you don't find them in the coffee aisle, check the natural foods section. Green Mountain and Equal Exchange are among the more popular fair trade companies. There are more, though--look for the fair trade label. Even Starbucks has gotten on the ethical coffee bandwagon. While their products aren't certified, they claim to be sourcing their coffee in ethical ways.

This is a simple way to make the world a better place! When you pay a bit more for a quality cup of Joe, know you are helping a family send their child to school, or keep their farm, or simply eat. I hope someday we don't even have to discuss this, and that all of the products we purchase are sold with human dignity first in mind.

Daily Detox

A new year means a return to blogging. Yay!

An old friend (well, a young friend from waaaay back) asked about simple ways to detox her life. I'm no expert, but I have been thinking along these lines for years now. She's inspired me! The start of 2011 will feature Daily Detox posts--not info posted daily, but info about how to detox our lives every day.

It got me thinking . . . detox from what, exactly?

The obvious, detox from substances that harm our bodies and our physical health, is always important. There are far too many of these in our modern world!

Then there's the mental detox: taking the clutter our of our minds and allowing more space for the good stuff.

I'm including detox of the negative impact our day-to-day lives can have on others, as well. I've written about it plenty before, but there are simple ways to ensure our day-to-day life has as much positive impact as possible.

Then there's the spiritual detox: removing the poison that accumulates during both good and bad times, and living as who we were made to be.

I'm excited! I can really use this! What did I forget? What should I include?

Wednesday Wisdom

In the season of resolutions, we notice when there is too much or not enough . . . too much junk food, not enough time with friends and family, too much clutter, not enough discipline, etc.

I often notice when there is too much injustice and not enough happiness for the world.

But what if this year, we celebrate that there is simply enough?

There is enough food to keep us healthy, enough love to go around. You get it.

There's debate over who said it first, whether Ma Ingalls or Mary Poppins or Buddha or someone else, but here's what I'm celebrating in 2011:

"Enough is a feast."

Cheers,