To my 16-year-old self,
A lot has happened in your first 16 years . . . and that's a good thing. Because the next 16 years will bring changes you could never have imagined. Most of those are pretty wonderful. Some, devastating. If I could change some of those things, believe me, I would. I am not sure this letter has that much power . . . but if it did, here's what I would tell you.
Be grateful for your childhood. Money is just money--you didn't need it. Your parents and your family gave you more than anyone else could have ever given you, and they did it without much money. Your childhood was special--you will realize more deeply this when you have a child of your own. And you will be amazed to see how the people you've met and the places you've lived have shaped who you are becoming.
Spend time with your family. More than you are now, I mean. I don't care how busy you are. I don't care how many other people in the world need help--trust me, you will spend plenty of time helping people over your lifetime. Your family is YOUR family, and you need each other. Go to every football game you can. Spend more time with your brother and his friends. Go early and stay late at family gatherings. Listen, I mean really listen, to what they have to say. Ask questions. Laugh together. I promise, no one ever regretted listening to or spending time with people they love.
I love how loyal you are--it's one of your best features, really. But you are only 16 years old . . . sometimes, the kindest, most loving thing is to know when it's time to say goodbye. 16 is not the age to force relationships to work. You spend a lot of time over the coming years trying to figure out when to let something or someone go . . . hanging on past your time isn't much better than letting go too early. Respect others enough to bravely let go when the time comes. And trust me, when the right one comes along, you won't be confused. You'll know.
Keep following your passions. They will bring joy to your life long after your GPA does.
Trust yourself. You have what is known in your future profession as a 'good gut.' Most of the poor choices you make are as a direct result of countering your intuition. You'll make your share of mistakes, but overall, you have a pretty level head and you make pretty good decisions.
Keep marching to that different drummer--you'll always be just a touch out of step with this culture. That's OK. You'll hear a lot of voices telling you how to use your gifts, but you don't have to answer to them. Maybe they have big dreams for you, but they don't truly know you. Continue to work hard and pursue excellence, but do it in your own way. You would never be satisfied by outside recognition. For you, the joy of the work and the personal richness you gain is its own reward. This is a great way to live--embrace it.
Remember: no one can have it all. I don't mean you can't have a great family, satisfying career, rich inner life, great friends--you certainly can have all of that, and be grateful when you do. But you can't have everything you want. You will see people who have some things you don't, and those things will look appealing, and the perfectionist in you will think "What a great idea! Maybe if I try this or that, I can have that too." But there's always a trade-off. You could have had a music career--in exchange for something you do have. You could have pursued your save-the-world mentality in a bigger way--in exchange for a lot of the little ways you are changing the world. You never know what someone has given up to get what they have. Celebrate their successes with them, and celebrate your life of "the little way."
Cherish your friends. Some will come and go, and some will be there 16 years later. Those are the friends who truly know you. Treat them like the treasures they are.
All those questions you have in your faith are taking you somewhere better--at least, better for you. Relax, again, no need to force any answers. Your faith will change a lot in the coming years--and that is something to celebrate. For now, talk less and listen more. Trust that everything will be ok in the end.
Stop going to Great Clips. They know nothing about curls. You don't have to live with triangle head. You'll be happier if you spend just a bit more.
Go to sleep, for the love of all that is good.
And keep taking good care of you. You are a pretty neat kid. And you have so many reasons to be grateful.
Love,
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