Guest Blogger: Freedom

Here's the promised guest post about Freedom a la Cart, the innovative way to support women who have survived the horrors of human trafficking and are building a new life.  They are working towards growing their food cart into a restaurant and they could use our help. And yes, the blogger is my sister-in-law. 

Happy Boxing Day!

Freedom is hummus. Perhaps not to you. But to me, hummus is what Freedom tastes like. The relationships I have built with survivors of Human Trafficking have propelled me to redefine Freedom, as it exists from their perspectives. Watching a survivor taste hummus for the first time brought so much joy to me. In a room of 25 survivors, no one had ever tasted it; many were hesitant to even dip a chip in it, let alone a carrot stick or pita bread. But the wide smile on the face of the first survivor who ‘dove in’, was all they needed to form a new love for this strange chick-pea blend. And that one smile led the rest of the women into a new world of ‘healthful’ eating. It was a bold move early on by one of our volunteers—but she knows that part of her volunteer work is to continue to introduce the survivors to freedom and choices that have been unknown and unavailable to them. 

Merry Christmas

{fair trade nativity available at serrv, a partner of lutheran world relief}

A Christmas Prayer

by Daniel Lee of Lutheran World Relief

God of Light, who illumines night,

Come to those now in darkness.

God of plenty, who multiplies joy,

Come to those now in sorrow.

God of promise,

who creates the harvest,

Come to those now in hunger.

This Christmas and always, 

We trust in your light,

your plenty and your promises.

Teach us again, through Word and deed,

of the Christ child

made flesh among us:

Who breaks the rod of oppression,

That we might work for justice;

Who removes the yoke of burden,

That our neighbor might

walk with dignity;

Who sets the tools of war afire,

That all creation might live in peace.

Amen.

Merry Christmas to each and every one of you.

A Holiday Glow

In light of the craziness in the world, I am thinking more about ways we can make the world a little bit warmer, a little bit brighter. The holidays are a time when people often find renewed enthusiasm for giving to others--and the year-end tax motivation to donate doesn't hurt, either.

Full disclosure: these are all projects or organizations I have had some connection to over the years, which means I am sharing with confidence. I believe in this work and I have seen real change as a result of their efforts. Isn't that why we give, to make a change? 

We all have a part in making the world a better place. If you are looking for new ways to do just that, keep reading. One of these might just be a perfect fit.

A Russian Orphanage

If you've read at all, you know Ben and I have been involved with Sovietsk Orphanage in Kirov, Russia over the last 7 years or so. Children's HopeChest oversees the work we do here. The children are amazing, and we love them with our whole hearts. We used to visit regularly, but having a little one has changed that. We instead work to find financial support for needs, such as therapies, schooling, or basics like gardening supplies. For example, we have been working on getting a hearing aid to one of the boys . . . we were thrilled to find a donor for the whole thing, but we have hit a snag. Finding donors for international projects, especially when we aren't traveling as before, has proven a challenge--so ANY contributions are welcome! More than money, these children need someone to notice them, care for them, invest in them. You can participate by sending a one-time financial gift, a monthly sponsorship gift, or even just writing letters. Visit the other blog for more information on how to donate. If you have any questions at all, please contact me.

A Health Clinic in Ethiopia

Doma International 's new health clinic is right in line with current thinking about the smartest and most effective way to support women and children around the world: maternal and infant medicine. By working alongside people in the village of Bora and bringing education and medical care, they are able to give women, children, and families a chance to thrive and grow together. I could go on and on with stories I have heard from Ethiopia, and I hope to go myself someday. For now, we are supporting from home . . .

The medical director Amber (who happens to be a longtime friend of the Clarks) has made such an impact, there is a little girl in Bora named after her. You see and hear Ben's brother in the video, and Ben's parents have also made the trip. Supporting the Hidota Center is a great way to be a part of something bigger and long-term . . . if becoming a careholder is too much for now, a gift of any size will help.

Rebuilding Lives for Survivors of Human Trafficking in Columbus, Ohio

You have seen me post about human trafficking again and again. Here is a frickin' cool way to actually make a difference to the women who have survived it right next door, in Ohio. As they are rebuilding their lives, they need support, skills, and stability--something Doma is working to offer them.

I would not be one bit surprised if, once this restaurant gets off the ground, we see this model replicated in cities all over the country. We can all be a part of getting this enterprise off the ground and helping these women build hope and a future. Stay tuned for a guest blog on this in the days ahead.


I could go on and on and on . . . there are some inspiring local children's agencies, such as The Villages or Damar Services. There are arts communities, such as Indianapolis Symphonic Choir. There are community centers like The Sharing Place or The Love Center . If I listed every place that inspires me and that I believe truly makes a difference, this blog would be endless. There are countless places where you could write a check and donate your time and truly make a difference. These are a few that move me . . . but the most important things is that we all find a few who move us, who are truly doing good work, and that we jump right in.

I love cozying up with my family over the holidays and enjoying the glow of the lights, the fire, a warm meal, our love for each other. But our glow is that much warmer and brighter when we find a way to share it outside of our own four walls, all year round.

What about you? How do you share your holiday glow?

Merry Christmas, everyone.

Only at Christmas Time

None of the posts kicking around my head right now seem quite right.

I, like many around the world, am still reeling from the horrific events of last Friday . . . but my flood of thoughts and feelings is nothing compared to the devastation felt by those directly affected by the shooting in Connecticut.

I will likely say more on this matter in the future. For now, my heart is with the families of every person--all of them--affected by this tragedy. 

As I held my little boy while he slept on Saturday, I kept thinking about all of those parents who once held their babies just the same way. I expect most or even all of the people at the school last Friday have had a parent hold them close, whisper in their ear, hope for their future, and give them sweet kisses. Not a one of them ever dreamed this for their sweet little baby.

Holidays are tough when you've lost someone precious. They are forever changed. Even more so for these families, with the anniversary of these unspeakable events coming every year as they prepare for Christmas. Christmas is when we tell the story of a sweet little baby, born to do amazing things, born to endure horror, born to save the world. I am thinking of his mother and father, and all of the mothers and fathers grieving in Connecticut and around the world, and my heart is singing this humble prayer.

Rest in Peace, sweet little angels, and peace to all of the souls who have loved you.

ToT: Tradition!

So, today is one of those days . . . in a good way, maybe. My to-do list was woefully neglected, just a few things knocked off, but my kid and I had fun (stair climbing and dance parties!), I got a few calls made, and I got to spend a few short minutes with a good friend. No one ever regrets leaving a to-do list when they die, I think, unless those items meant something to the people they loved. So oh well that I still have plenty to do, right?

(Also, I am so technologically incompetent it is getting embarrassing. Am I the only one who can barely function on Skype these days? I have people to call!)

I say that because I have a slight tinge of guilt about blogging . . . I have work to do (for work) and things to do around the house, I have projects I'd like to work on (important ones like things for our Russian friends or the baby book, plus some little things like mending and stuff like that), I have a husband I'd like to hang out with, and I haven't done my nails in weeks. It's not pretty, people. But I'm blogging . . . because it's just a few minutes of slowing down and reflecting on the simple pleasure of holiday traditions. If you're among the lovely people on my to-call list, I am thinking of you as I write! (And if you can make Skype work for me, YAY!)

I love holiday traditions . . . most of ours are very simple, but the joy of sharing them with James who has new eyes for everything is enough to make me want to burst. When I was little, we always initiated the Christmas season with a decorating party. My mom made all kinds of little treats (cheese and crackers and cookies and hot chocolate and egg nog and simple, yummy things) and we put on our Christmas records (lots of great Choral arrangements, like the Boar's Head Carol and Masters in this Hall and Britten and Handel and all kinds of things) and we decorated! We weren't Martha Stewart or anything, but just about everything on the tree has a memory attached, and we took the time to notice.  When we were done, we would cuddle up in our jammies and watch our Christmas shows. I have so much happy nostalgia around this, it's ridiculous. I knew that this was THE tradition I would carry on in my family, so we do.

We watch A Charlie Brown Christmas every year. This year, our Peanut is pretty excited about "Boopy!" so that makes it extra fun. And my mom's favorite, and I mean FAVORITE, is The Snowman . . . the wordless story about James, a little boy whose snowman comes to life for just one night. It's bittersweet, but mostly sweet. This was the first show our James snuggled in and watched from start to finish, and he has seen it quite a few times already. He loves it, and his grandma loves that he loves it, and I love watching the two of them bundled up in a snowman blanket to watch it.

{From The Snowman by Raymond Briggs}

There are other things we like to do . . . we have our Christmas morning traditions (brunch at home in our PJs and then on to Grandmas) and extended family traditions (New Year's in Ohio with a mini Christmas pageant by all the cousins) and I try to see all of my aunts and uncles and grandparents and cousins, too. We used to take the long way home after midnight Christmas Eve service and look at all of the lights, but we may have to adjust again this year with a little one in tow.

I am looking forward to new traditions as they emerge . . . how will James respond to the first snow of the year? Will he love the zoo, or the Eiteljorg, or the Circle, or Jolly Days? Will he dance to this ridiculous Cha-Cha Slide Santa from Aunt Marilynn every year? (So far, the answer is yes. Two for two.) I want to do them ALL. I don't like to force them, but I don't want to miss any of them.

This is the paradox of parenting . . . well, one of them . . . I want to experience every last little thing and document it and remember it, but if I put so much energy in to making things happen then I will miss the little things along the way (like impromptu dance parties and playing outside in DECEMBER, for pity's sake). Ideally, I would have a cute little photo of our decorating party this year, but I don't--aside from the ones in my head. Those are irreplaceable. (And blogging along the way will help, too.) In my dream world, I will find the perfect balance of making memories and living in the moment. For now, hanging our "Joy" ornament that we bought when we found out we were having a baby, or hanging the Snoopy and Lucy that were my brother's and mine as kids, or hanging the gifts we got for our wedding or in places we used to live or from around the world is as good of a holiday scrapbook as any.

What do YOU love to do every year? Check out the other Together on Tuesday bloggers for their traditions!

ToT: Black Friday, Indeed

Today, I am posting my Together on Tuesday topic RIGHT ON TIME! Barely. Small victories.

Time to share our thoughts on Black Friday. If you've been reading my blog for any length of time, it won't be hard to guess what I have to say.

"Christmas is not only getting too commercial, it's getting too dangerous."

Happy Thanksgiving

Gratitude

Ah, November. The leaves change from colorful to brown and crunchy, the air from cool to biting. We Scorpios celebrate our birthdays. There's an odd mix of Halloween leftovers and Christmas early birds all around. College football gets serious--OSU vs Michigan, anyone? And we spend the month reflecting on gratitude.

I like the idea of taking all of November listing the many things for which I am thankful--I even got into the spirit on Facebook, which takes some commitment (if you're me). Being the type who is constantly striving to do more and do it better, there is a lot of value in my reflecting on the good things all around me. I've spent a lot of time examining deficits in hopes of improvement, but that's only valuable when you can enjoy the good things as they are. Professionally, social workers try to be strengths-based--the theory being that we grow more when we focus on our strengths rather than our problems. I could use more of that in my daily life--even in this blog, really. I have been blessed with far more rainbows than thunderstorms in my world. So, again, with the lists . . . and since it's my 33rd year, 33 is the magic number. 

Here are 33 Things I am Thankful for in my 33rd Year.

A Thanksgiving Sermon

{from homegrownhospitality.typepad.com}

ToT Rewind: Busyness, Stillness

Flashback . . . ToT topic from September . . .

We're reflecting this week on The Busy Trap. Good reading from NY Times, I think. If you would rather not read, though, basically the author is considering whether or not all of our busy-ness is worthwhile. He asserts much of it is self-imposed, mindless clutter that may not always enhance our lives. I guess I agree.

33 Things

Hello, old friends.

I've missed writing. I have been occupied with other things. I left a job I loved for a job that was a better fit for my family and my life, and the transition took a lot of energy. We are settling in now and I am so thankful for the opportunity to do what I love and care for my family at the same time. But more about that later.

Danielle at My Peaches and Cream wrote a few weeks back about how hard it is to blog when all this heavy-duty life is going on all around you. I've been living that lately. Lots of serious stuff in lots of places, and our little family keeps trying to share the love where it needs to be shared. It feels silly to sit and type when real life is happening--except that real life is always happening, and writing helps keep me sane.

So, I'm back. At least for now. I'm squeezing this in a small window between rushing home from a rehearsal and hanging out with my husband. And my heart is full, full, full for a dear friend and her family who are grieving a tremendous loss. And I'm getting old, people. In the spirit of my pending 33rd birthday, and in in the interest of writing at all, I give you 33 Things.

1. Life is amazing.
2. A wise woman once told me we never feel we have enough time with the people we love.
3. Think about that as you decide what's important to do RIGHT NOW. Today. Tomorrow.
4. Also, all of the time we get with the beautiful people placed in our lives is a gift.
5. I have always thought people deserve respect just for being human.
6. That includes people who are different from us.
7. There are good, kind, intelligent, caring people on all sides of any issue.
8. There are people who get the brunt of other people's frustration far too often.
9. Those are the people I feel drawn to protect.
10. They probably don't need my protection--they have done just fine without me for a long time.
11. So instead, I will constantly work for what I believe is just and true.
12. And, I will constantly look around, listen to other people, and learn about what justice and truth really mean.
13. That's what I love about being a social worker.
14. I hope I can be the kind of mom whose children grow up knowing integrity, compassion, and courage.
15. If people were as engaged in service as they are in political rhetoric, the world would be a better place.
16. I am extremely grateful for my parents.
17. I am extremely grateful for my friends.
18. I am extremely grateful for my mind and education.
19. I am extremely humbled and grateful that I continue to grow and change.
20. My mom said a few years back that there is no reason the coming years can't be the happiest of our lives.
21. That was a big deal, because we have a big hole in our family that will never be filled.
22. I thought that was a pretty courageous statement.
23. I think that's what hope means.
24. I'm glad my husband challenges me.
25. Being a mother challenges me in ways I never could have conceived before.
26. Watching my child grow is ridiculous and inspiring and humbling and fascinating and joyful.
27. I guess I have been feeling soulful these days.
28. Impermanence is the only permanence.
29. It is an honor to grow older.
30. I wonder if being an adult means there is more heavy-duty life going on around us all the time.
31. Maybe that's why there are children--to bring the joy and light.
32. I love my boy so much it hurts. Really.
33. In honor of a dear friend:

"I have found the paradox that if I love until it hurts, then there is no hurt, only more love." 

~Mother Teresa

Another day, I'll be back with a lighter heart. For now, my heart is grateful for my mama, my family, my friends. I'm a lucky one.

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

Hi, bloggy friends,

Don't worry, I'm not abandoning you. (As if you were worried.) Just off taking care of a few things, going through some changes, and having a little fun. I'll be back soon enough. Not sure when, but soon enough. (Because I always have something to say.)

In the meantime, keep reading the lovely ladies on the right of the screen.

                                                  Cheers,             

ToT (late again!): State of the Union

I've been pretty distracted this week, mostly with good stuff. We've got some changes coming. AND my baby boy has turned ONE! His birthday was Tuesday, so I took a break. I'll be blogging about that soon . . . my thoughts and feelings keep swirling. I guess that's motherhood.

Last week, though, we were to write about the state of things today. Is the country falling apart? Going to 'hell in a handbasket?' Why?

Whew.

I could say a LOT on this, but I am going to try not to. (Don't laugh.) I think I have a few unique perspectives on this, being a social worker married to an historian--I have a front-row seat to some of the uglier sides of our culture, and a chat with my husband can help me put that in context. So a few thoughts . . .

ToT: The Darker Side of the Olympics

We have a new Together on Tuesday blogger! Welcome, Katie, from Fun Home Things!

So, the topic today is the Olympics. My husband LOVES the Olympics, and I enjoy them too. In another life I would have been a gymnast, I know it, and Ben is really hoping for a chance to race Usain Bolt. I thought instead of answering all the ToT topic questions (sorry, guys), I'd take a Just Living perspective about the Olympics.

I could write about Gabby's hair. (Anyone notice that the other girls' hair isn't exactly ready for the red carpet? It's called being an ATHLETE.) I could write about the awkward balance between entertainment that brings people together and the massive amount of money spent or the environmental impact. But again, I'm taking it back to human trafficking. (To read more, click the modern day slavery label in the cloud on the right.)

Wednesday Wisdom

"We can do no great things, only small things with great love."

--Mother Teresa of Calcutta

ToT: Alias

One of the fun parts of this Together on Tuesday gig is we write about things we wouldn't think of on our own, and we get to know some other ladies while we do. Really, if you're thinking it looks fun, you're right, it is. Plenty of bloggers jump in and out as they can, so there's no pressure. For me it provides a good reason to take the time to write, which is something I love to do that keeps me sane. So there's another plug. If you're interested, join us! Contact one of the bloggers on the list to the right and we can pull you in.

This week: nicknames. I've seen that these terms of endearment can speak to the intimacy and affection in a relationship. Interesting . . . because I've never had too many. (And it's definitely not cute when strangers offer Sweetie Pie and Honey and whatever, so that theory doesn't always hold, I guess.) (And now I am wondering . . . what if I actually do have lots of nicknames, but the kind that no one tells you about? Hmmm . . .)

With a classic and popular name like Sarah, you would think there would be more, but Sarah Barah never really stuck. I've had a few, though. My mom used to call me Punkin, and I might hear Little Bit now and again when I'm sick (which I was a good part of last year, so I heard it a lot!). Sarahbeth is the usual, though. My grandpa calls me Sally--he's old school. Every once in awhile Ben has a few cutesy names for me, like Sarie Strawberry or something. (Ha, I've outed you!) And I have a whole string of nicknames for him, some old and some new . . . Butch, Binj, Vernon, Lewis, and a few others I'll protect. Genna used to be a big one . . . our Russian friends named Ben Gennadiy, Genna for short, because Venyamin was "too old-fashioned."

I was just reminded of Fred. For some reason, Nancy and I went through a phase where we called everyone Fred. Each other, our parents, our siblings, strangers, everyone. I don't know why--and I expect I started it. To this day, her parents and some of their friends still call me Fred.

Our baby boy has a slew of nicknames, too. Sweet Baby James has been popular, as has J (and many variations), Baby J, Big Boy, Baby Boy, Little Guy, Jamesie, James A, Stinks McGillicutty, just about anything that comes out of my mouth. He has his Butch moments, too. But his main nickname: Peanut. Peanut Butter, Peanut Sauce, Peanut Head, or just Peanut. Because he's Our Peanut.

My sweet, thoughtful Peanut. Thanks, Purple Peaches!

Who knows if it will stick. He's quickly outgrowing his Peanut stature, but he held onto it for a good run there at the beginning. I'll never forget when one of my music teachers told me I was no bigger than a peanut . . . even though I was 20 . . .and it sure seemed true for him at the beginning. But now, he's a big lug. Something tells me he will still be my Peanut when he's long passed my peanut-sized self. Lucky me.

ToT: A letter to the past . . .

Yes, I'm writing nearly a week late. Life happens. And for some reason, the life that happened last week left me just not in the mood to talk to that 16-year-old me. But I have a few things to say to her now . . .

To my 16-year-old self,

A lot has happened in your first 16 years . . . and that's a good thing. Because the next 16 years will bring changes you could never have imagined. Most of those are pretty wonderful. Some, devastating. If I could change some of those things, believe me, I would. I am not sure this letter has that much power . . . but if it did, here's what I would tell you.

Further Reading . . .

Just some other writings on the Chick-fil-A drama . . . there are many more views out there, of course. I found these particularly interesting. It's always good to consider multiple perspectives. Enjoy.

"I'm Sorry for Yesterday"

Anonymous experience of a Gay Chick-fil-A employee

And of course, fellow ToT blogger, Danielle

Wednesday Wisdom

" . . . liberty may be endangered by the abuses of liberty, as well as by the abuses of power . . ."

-James Madison in the Federalist Papers, no 63

If you want a history lesson on this, ask my husband.

ToT: Current Events

So . . . today's Together on Tuesday topics is either a wild card or your thoughts on some current events . . . namely, the Aurora, CO shootings and the Chick-fil-A drama around anti-gay marriage comments and contributions. I have a wild card formulating, but it seems kind of shallow to write about clothes--even ethically-sourced clothes--with these subjects on the table. Good grief, the whole point about this blog is how to impact and respond to society in a way that promotes justice, mercy, and humility. Plus, I'm a social worker. People usually do NOT want to hear me speak on this type of topic. I often have a lot to say, and in these cases, much of what I think, feel, and believe has already been said by others elsewhere. So, I am going to tackle both topics with the same principle in mind.

There are real people involved in these issues.

ToT: Laundry List

If you haven't noticed, my fellow Together on Tuesday bloggers are pretty busy. There have been vacations, moves, babies on the way, and just craziness in life. I have been enjoying my Monday evening blogging pomodoro as part of the rhythm of my week, and I'm pretty proud of that--though there will be some hiatus in the future. (Yep, I blog for Tuesdays on Monday. Sue me.) Anywho, in deference to playing catch-up, and with regards to the great Carla Morgan (from whom I stole the idea), I give you the Laundry List.

(Which, as we discussed on Carla's private blog, doesn't make much sense. Who lists their laundry? Then I remembered I did list my laundry . . . when Hotel Tsentralnaya washed and ironed ALL my clothes--underwear and socks too--on a visit to Kirov, Russia. So that's what a real laundry list is.)

Feeding your Veg-Head

This week, Together on Tuesday is a free-for-all. I had all kinds of lofty ideas in mind, but instead of pontificating, I thought I might continue last week's theme and offer some actual, practical help.

The hardest part of being a vegetarian for the last decade, and now being dairy-free and gluten-free, is most definitely the stress it brings to the people I love. Everyone is afraid to cook for me, despite my best efforts to be as accommodating and low-maintenance as I can. I am FINE to eat salad while others eat steak. I am not belligerent about my food choices, I try to be discreet. I've managed eating vegetarian in Russia plenty of times (though it's easiest during Lent). It's tough at work lunches or similar events when I am trying to graciously eat as much as I can but the food is truly limited, but I never, ever want my choices to be stress for someone else. Even my wonderful mother said she just got used to cooking for me as a vegetarian, and these new restrictions can trip her up.

The thing is, it's really not that hard . . . once you get into a new line of thinking. That's the hard part. So, in the interest of accommodation and collaboration, I give you, in no particular order, the Top Ten Ways to Feed the Vegetarian (Vegan, Dairy-Free, or Gluten-Free) in Your Life.

ToT on Wednesday: FOOD

So I'm late. It happens.

And the crazy part is the subject is food, one of my favorite things in the world! There is SO much I could write about from a Just Living perspective . . . I have posts started on why I'm a vegetarian, ethical food choices, all kinds of good stuff. And we are going through another food shake-up around here, thanks to little guy. Turns out his little body doesn't like cow milk--or rather the proteins in it (casein and whey)--or gluten, a protein found in wheat, barley, and a few other grains. He doesn't have a full-on allergy, but he does have a sensitivity. If mama eats either of those items, we see skin reactions, runny nose, and a fun assortment of digestive issues in our little fella. As it turns out, theory goes if baby has a sensitivity, mama likely does too, just undetected since I've gotten used to the effects. So no dairy or gluten for me! It's been challenging, but kinda fun because it's forced some creativity. And honestly, I feel better without it.

This started a whole host of obsessive research about food, how we eat now, how we ate historically, what has changed about the food itself, what do we really need to be healthy. I've found some enlightening stuff and a few crazies. I had been toying with the idea of being vegan for awhile, for a lot of reasons. (Mark Bittman, for one, has lots of info, and while you can read about dairy in particular here, the information applies to lots of factory farmed foods.) As it stands, I am semi-vegan--I am mostly vegan, but I am OK with eating some animal products here and there. For me, that includes honey, eggs (we get ours via Green Bean Delivery from a pastured farm in northern Indiana), and occasional fish (though fishing practices make me cringe, that is a project for another day). We also eat a good amount of organic food, though we are not psycho about it or anything. And we are working on cutting sugar around here, too. It is fun to eat, but it is kind of the devil.

So . . . I wanted to share a favorite recipe with you, at the request of my Together on Tuesday friends. And I wanted it to be something that fits the criteria above. That ruled out some of my favorite cakes, cookies, and tarts, as well as some gooey, cheesy dishes. But it leaves one of my all-time favorites that I've been making for nearly a decade, and one of my most-requested recipes: straight-up, plan and simple hummus.

Hummus

1 16 oz can garbanzos, rinsed (or about 1 1/2 cups cooked garbanzos, which is even better. BPA-free cans suggested if you go the canned route.)

2 cloves garlic

Juice of 1 lemon, or about 3 Tbsp

3 Tbsp Tahini (sesame paste)

3 tsp cumin powder, toasted

Olive Oil

Freshly ground black pepper

Sea salt 

Garnish with paprika, chopped parsley, tomatoes, kalmata olives

Toast cumin in a dry pan until scent is strong and set aside.

Crush garlic and saute in olive oil until cooked through

Add garbanzos, tahini, garlic with oil, some salt, cumin, a couple Tbsp of water, and about half the lemon juice into a food processor. Gradually stream in some olive oil and water as you process until smooth. 

(If using a blender, add liquids first and add garbanzos gradually.)

Adjust consistency by adding olive oil or water a bit at a time. 

Spread into a serving dish and drizzle with olive oil, lemon, salt, and pepper,

Extra yummy if you let it stand a day and then garnish as above. I always serve it with veggies, and pita is another popular choice.

Nothing fancy, but it's a staple around here, and it's one of my comfort foods. I hope you like it!

Check out the other Together on Tuesday bloggers, listed to the right, for more favorites.

Wednesday Wisdom: Independence Day

"Every difference of opinion is not a difference of principle."

--Thomas Jefferson

ToT: Guilty Pleasures

I am not much of a movie person, and I'm not quite sure why. They are so long . . . and I am so tired . . . I would rather just sleep in my bed. My poor husband loves movies, and especially going to movies, and I don't like paying too much for something that is just ok and listening to other people's popcorn noise. Plus it's an expensive nap.

ToT Gets Personal

To my dearest cotton-headed ninny-muggins husband . . .

I don't say "Thank You" enough. Sometimes it's because of the busy-ness of life, sometimes I'm being too thick to see you well, sometimes you're being thick and I'm rolling my eyes, sometimes 9 years of wedded bliss get taken for granted. Sometimes I think of how I could never possibly thank you enough for everything you do and and for being who you are.

So . . .

Thank you for talking me into getting a second cat. And having a baby.
Thank you for cleaning out the cat box nearly every day for 7 years.
Thank you for minimal complaints about being in charge of the gross stuff.
Thank you for loving me through major grief, grad school (twice), and post-partum drama.
Thank you for taking care of yourself and working hard to grow and learn because you value our marriage.
Thank you for your campaign to be sure I learn that farts are funny. (Eww.)
Thank you for frequently demonstrating the importance of moving to a house with a second bathroom.
Thank you for your patience.
Thank you for making me more patient. Often out of necessity. :)
Thank you for finally asking me on a date, 10 years ago. After multiple hints.
Thank you for helping me slow down sometimes.
Thank you for speeding up sometimes because I want you to.
Thank you for frequent last-minute trips to the store because I'm in the middle of cooking and ran out of an important ingredient.
Thank you for taking care of me when I am sick (like right now).
Thank you for listening well, to me and to others.
Thank you for keeping your promises.
Thank you for being the world's best daddy.
Thank you for wearing the 'Best Man in America' shirt I made you on our first Valentine's Day, even if it was in secret.
Thank you for watching ridiculous food and dance tv with me, just because you like me.
Thank you for making things more fun.
Thank you for getting me to like avocado.
Thank you for indulging my silly side.
Thank you for finding your silly side when no one is looking.
Thank you for driving me crazy on a regular basis, giving me ample opportunity for character growth.
Thank you for challenging me when said character growth is lacking.
Thank you for loving my family and my friends as if they were family.
Thank you for sharing your family with me.
Thank you for calling me out and expecting my best when needed.
Thank you for cleaning like a neat-freak.
Thank you for relaxing when necessary.
Thank you for going all in when you let go and laugh your heart out.
Thank you for a pretty great courtship and proposal story.
Thank you for letting me be sentimental.
Thank you for being my home.
Thank you for loving your neighbor, at home and far away.
Thank you for following your dreams, but reshaping them to suit our family.
Thank you for going on adventures with me.
Thank you for knowing what I need, sometimes even before I say it.
Thank you for your loyalty.
Thank you for persistence.
Thank you for working hard every day as a sexy and mysterious historian.
Thank you for being solid-as-a-rock reliable.
Thank you for knowing I need a clean car for a road trip and the door closed when I shower.
Thank you for having good hygiene.
Thank you for making me laugh.
Thank you for being smarter than I am.
Thank you for being the strongest man I know.
Thank you for teaching me how to love generously, even when I don't feel generous.
Thank you for the hours of talking and sharing ideas.
Thank you for getting baby boy to sleep.
Thank you for reading stories.
Thank you for always, only being yourself.
Thank you for letting me be myself, all the time.
Thank you for remembering to get the crock pot down without my reminding you.
Thank you for reaching all the tall stuff.
Thank you for playing music with me even if it makes your head hurt.
Thank you for having handsome eye crunkles and silver hair:).
Thank you for taking my calls 30 times a day when I have something cute or silly or exciting to tell you.
Thank you for understanding that sometimes, I just have to get past the mood, and that's OK.
Thank you for being my best friend.
I love you.
Me

Check out the other bloggers this week! Charlotte, Danielle, Erica, Leah, Michelle, Nancy, and Trish

Wednesday Wisdom

"The days are long, but the years are short."

--Gretchen Rubin

Ain't it the truth.

ToT: A Day in the Life

I wish I could tell you what a typical day in our home is like. I wish we had a typical day. In my work, my days are shaped around everyone else's day . . . court, meetings, school, work, you name it. So my best efforts at predictability are thwarted regularly. I wish I could say I was used to it.

Songs for Changing the World

I thought in light of this week's Together on Tuesday topic I would share some songs that inspire me to make the world a better place.

Some of these are by artists I love, and some are one hit wonders in my catalogue, but all lift my spirit, remind me of beauty in the world, and help me see my neighbor differently.

ToT: La Musica

How has music impacted my life? More like how hasn't it.

Music is as integrated into my life as food or sleep. Sometimes it is glorious, sometimes it is a responsibility, sometimes it is hardly noticed. It has been a long time since I really reflected on music. Now, I'm thinking of all of my musical memories, experiences, and aspirations . . . oy, this could take awhile.

Wednesday Wisdom

"The end of a melody is not its goal; but nonetheless, if the melody had not reached its end it would not have reached its goal either. A parable.”

--Friedrich Nietzsche

ToT: Then and Now

I finally got around to reading The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin.  Fascinating stuff, I think.  One interesting idea Gretchen encountered on her quest to become happier was that we are happiest doing the same things we did for fun when we were children, say age 10. In theory, as adults we are either too busy to worry about being happy or we're focused on what we think should make us happy, while as kids, we just lived it. I'll buy that, and it got me thinking . . .                                                                             

Together on Tuesday: Keeping in Touch

I am so thankful to have wonderful friends. And all of my friends have wonderfully full lives. I think of my friends so often--much more often than I make contact, and certainly more often than I see them. This week's Together on Tuesday topic has me thinking about creative ways to keep in touch.

Most people think I'm an extrovert. It's been this way all of my life. I'm comfortable enough in a crowd, I apparently smile a lot (so I'm told), and I talk way. too. much. But here's the thing: I'm not. I am not, nor do I think I have ever been, an extrovert. After a big to-do, I am found at home, crashing, either in solitude or with my even more introverted husband. I need my downtime to recharge--my theory is I have a deficit after my crazy-busy high school and college years (which went on for 3 degrees!). I never feel quite like myself in a big group of people--unless I have something keeping me busy, which is why I often end up in the kitchen. I have always preferred the intimacy of one-to-one conversation or a small gathering to the boisterous fun of a party.

I think this may be one reason why my friends don't really know each other too well . . . interesting. I tend to keep in touch with my friends one-on-one, for the most part. And while I love tradition, I realize that I have very few traditions with my friends. Time to change that, I think.

Being a mom changes everything (right?). I have my lovely little guy, and we have a ton of fun together, and he takes a LOT of time. But more than that, my schedule is completely rocked . . . I am still working on getting a rhythm going, balancing part-time work and mommyhood and other tasks. And I spend a lot of time with family, which I love. These days, seeing friends is requiring more planning and forethought than ever before.

One of the best friends a gal could ask for lives about 7 minutes away and has for most of my life. I love her to bits, and her family is pretty great too. We were in a pretty solid rhythm of hanging out about once a week, often with our husbands and her kiddo. The last year brought changes neither of us could have imagined . . . some amazing, and some beyond heartbreaking. We still stay in touch every way you can think of--phone chats, email, Facebook, and every week or so we grab some time together, but life has knocked us off of our old rhythm. We'll see what happens when her twins come and rock her world even more! We'll find a way, though. We always have, even after 27 years. Lucky, lucky me.

Another great friend I've been lucky enough to have since I was 12 has also had a whirlwind of a year. We are both so busy--for once, she is more than I am--and our Saturday brunches or Sunday afternoon football games have been fewer and farther between. Time to send a quick note. Then there are my out-of-town friends. One of the best outcomes of my crazy undergrad experience was another once-in-a-lifetime friendship. We haven't lived in the same town for 10 years now, but it doesn't matter. We trade voicemails a lot, and we trade a few weekends every year--either she comes here or I go to Chicago. I'm looking forward to Peanut's first of many trips to Lincoln Park Zoo this summer.

Then there are the social worky friends, current and former co-workers, for whom I am SO grateful. In my field, you need good people around who understand the craziness and can help keep your head up. One lovely lady I worked with a few years back started a book club with another of our friends and some great people from her current job, and we get together monthly to eat, catch up, and sometimes discuss the book :). We chat throughout the month as well, about everything from our family lives to just about every topic on this blog. In fact, conversations with her sparked Just Living.

What else . . . a few of us from high school used to have a monthly dinner club with our husbands, that was pretty fun (especially when we introduced them to a true Russian dinner party!). Different friends and I have different lunch dates we tend to recycle, which is kind of like a tradition, right? Now that I've joined the mommy club, I've connected with some other mamas in various settings, and it has been fun to trade tips and watch our babies grow. And who can forget Facebook, which I was so reluctant to join (as a closeted introvert) but which has proved pretty useful in keeping up and reconnecting with good people. If it wasn't for Facebook, I might not be in this Together on Tuesday brigade!

So as it turns out, maybe I have a few more traditions than I think I do, they are just simple--which is just the way I like it. I like finding rhythm in life, too, which is why settling into more regular contact sounds quite nice, I think. I am pretty stinkin' blessed to have so many wonderful people in my life. I want to make the most of that and show them just how much I appreciate them. :)

Check out Nan, Danielle, Michelle, and Charlotte to see how they keep up with the special people in their worlds.

Wednesday Wisdom

"In a gentle way, you can shake the world."

--Mahatma Gandhi



Together on Tuesday: MONEY

Ah, money. I've always found it rather . . . well . . . blah. Money is not interesting to me at all. In high school philosophy, I wrote some obnoxious paper about how we should all revert to the barter system because money was ruining everything. While I've grown up a bit, I am still not just that motivated by money. (Clearly . . . I am a social worker married to an historian. On purpose.) For us, money is simply a tool to help us build the life we want--which is funny, because probably people who like money feel the same way.

So how do we manage it?

First, I must say we are blessed that we have very little financial stress. There is enough compatibility between our income and our lifestyle to allow us the luxury of not obsessing about money. Are we rich? See above . . . NO. But we live below our means and we have enough. I cannot overstate how thankful we are for this. After spending plenty of time with people who have no choice but to spend a LOT of time thinking about acquiring cash and paying bills, this is not to be taken for granted.

Second, it is very important to us that we use our money to live out our values of social justice, care for people and the environment, and simplicity. Unfortunately, in this culture, this is a decidedly not-simple task (hence this entire blog!). Just about everything on the market in the US today is a product of someone else's blood, sweat, and tears. While I used to be an expert bargain shopper/couponer, and I became very efficient, I realized that type of shopping didn't allow me to purchase items I felt good about. So while I don't like to spend a lot of time thinking about money, I have to spend a lot of time thinking about how I spend it if I want to live my values. Sometimes I can pull this off. Other times, I fail miserably (she says with grace for her own shortcomings).

One thing we kind of love around here: our "dumb money:"

At one point, there was an undisclosed amount of money spent by an undisclosed family member each month on an undisclosed vice . . . and while said family member was enjoying his daily coffee and scones, his wife was spending too many lunch breaks at Target. Since we don't fight about money (truly! so thankful!) and didn't intend to start, we instituted "dumb money." It's basically an allowance that we don't have to account for, so even if the other spouse thinks the purchase is dumb, they aren't allowed to say so. We love it.

So while some things are working for us, we could manage our money a LOT better.

We used to have a tight budget, by necessity since one of us was in school for the majority of our marriage. Our income has fluctuated so much that the budget no longer matches . . . and we sure have gotten lax really paying attention to where that money flows. Time for a new one. For years I managed the money, then Ben took over. (We realized it wasn't a great idea for one of us to be completely in the dark about the day-to-day activities like paying bills, etc.) Now we have a hybrid system, where we kind of tag team . . . and while this works most of the time, sometimes it leads to a comedy of errors: "I thought you paid it!" "But I thought YOU paid it!", repeat ad nauseam. (I exaggerate . . . things get paid on time, but it does get a little silly around here.) I have never had any luck with these supposedly helpful financial software/websites, and we have yet to find a management system that works well enough that we really stay on top of it. And while my wonderful husband has put some effort into boring things like investments and retirement account, I am still pretty clueless, and I am pretty sure we could be smarter about some of this stuff. So we are thinking it's time to tighten ship around here. Or so we have been saying for months and months . . . have I mentioned how a baby changes everything?

Said baby makes it even more important that we sharpen our financial situation. I would love to learn some simple, efficient ways to manage budgeting. (Comments welcome!) I would be thrilled if money played an even smaller part in our life . . . we are on a path to simplifying even further, as I am working part time and we are whittling unneeded expenses. This will make space and time for the things that are most important to us . . . which, to me, is the best use of money there is.

Here's hoping that my Together on Tuesdays ladies have some ideas for me . . .check out Nancy, Danielle, Michelle, and Charlotte for more money talk!

Wednesday Wisdom

"Taking joy in life is a woman's best cosmetic!"

--Rosalind Russell

Together on Tuesday: There's No Place Like Home

Home is where the heart is . . . home is wherever I'm with you . . . home sweet home. I've been thinking more about home lately . . . well, more about houses and where we'd like to live for the next chunk of our life. And babies change everything.

I wish I had studied abroad in college. I can't think of a better time to live somewhere else. Now, as a married woman, and especially as a mama, it is all but off the table. I still dream of it. I've had flashes of moving here countless times:

This is our Russian home, Sovietsk, in Kirov region. It's beautiful. Life is slower, though not always simpler. The people are warm and welcoming, and we love the children who live here with all our hearts. Daydreams often take me here.

I've always had the travel bug, and though I travel much less than I would like, everywhere I go I imagine living there. I could see myself bounding around, as long as I had my people with me. Life near mountains . . . or water . . . or in a slower-paced culture, away from materialism . . . it's all very appealing.

So if the opportunity came to move to some wonderful destination, would we take it?

The payoff would have to be amazing, and we would have to have finances and schedules that allowed frequent, regular trips to family. And even then, I'm not convinced we would say yes. Reality almost never lives up to the dream, and building a life away from treasured family and friends requires a lot of sacrifice. We've lived somewhere where we knew no one, and we said it would take a LOT for us to do that again. If I could teleport--my superpower of choice--this conversation would be SO different. But I can't.

My son needs stability and roots. He needs grandparents nearby, aunts & uncles, cousins, friends. He needs a sense of home. I was lucky enough to grow up with one. No way would I take that from him. So would I leave home for greener pastures? Never say never, but right now . . . No.

Indianapolis is my home, and it has been Ben's home for 7 years now. It gets a bad rap, but I love it, and it keeps getting better. (Though for the record . . . more innovative vegetarian restaurants couldn't hurt!) My people are here, and Ben's family is in easy driving distance. I could easily list what I love and what I could use more of in Indianapolis, but I think I'm going to focus on the house itself. Now we live in a little ranch in Beech Grove, and we are pondering moving on . . . staying home, in Indianapolis, but finding a new little nest to call our own.

We don't want to lose some of the things we love about our current nest: safe, walkable neighborhood (where we can literally run out to the store at just about any time), nice backyard for the boy and the garden, good neighbors, 10 minutes from downtown, close to grandparents and friends. But we wouldn't mind losing the busy street, one little bathroom, two little bedrooms, and nowhere sneaky to hide the litter box. (Eww.)

For years Ben and I have been eyeing downtown living, Fountain Square, Irvington, or SoBro/Meridian Kessler/Butler Tarkington neighborhoods. We love the vibe of older homes, and we believe in using existing structures to their fullest instead of building new. We want a diverse neighborhood, in many senses of the word. We want to be in walking distance to parks, groceries, food and entertainment, and even friends. We are weighing driving--to work, to church, to grandparents and friends--in terms of time, money, and environmental impact. If we could find a home that minimized energy use and maximized natural light, that would be great. If we could find an older home that was affordable, ready to go, and didn't require much upkeep, that would be a miracle.

What's crazy to us is we are finding quite a bit of that in a neighborhood we never imagined . . . the good ol' subdivision. Yep, we're considering it, quite seriously. While the one we're considering isn't in walking distance to stores, that is pretty much the only thing missing from our list. And it happens to have a pretty great family already living there.

We don't ask for a lot, we just want a simple home where we can focus on what really matters to us . . . you know, just living. So, it just may be that this little boy is moving me from wild dreams of living abroad to a little subdivision where he can ride his bike and play with his friends. And that is perfectly OK with me.

Check out Charlotte, Danielle, Michelle, and Nancy to see if the grass is greener on the other side of their fences.

Wednesday Wisdom

Well, well, what do we have here . . .
I'm back.

If you hadn't noticed, I was gone awhile. My last post was 18 days before this happened . . .

And my world was rocked. And I love this guy to bits.
And a few other things happened, and 6 months flew by . . .

And now I have a busy, mobile 8 month old with two teeth and the best belly laugh you've ever heard.

 I've always known motherhood wasn't for wimps, but this is no joke. My mind is blown, and I am learning constantly. Sometimes I'm learning lessons I thought I already nailed, like . . . .

"The perfect is the enemy of the good."   --Voltaire

You would think a classical singer/social worker would have figured out by now that perfectionism is not terribly productive. But old habits die hard . . . so this mama reignited her neurotic pursuit of complete mastery of all things.

Not. Helpful.

When your husband takes all of your baby books and locks them on a high shelf . . . and you're only 5 feet tall . . . you better come up with another plan.

Time to reconnect with the core of me and get to know the new me. Time to take care of body, mind, and spirit, and time to tune in to that famous mother's intuition.

One simple way to do some of this is blogging again--here and with our Russian friends, of course. And when I saw my dear friend Nancy had reconnected with some lovely ladies from high school, Danielle and Michelle, it was a perfect (ugh, there it is again!) opportunity. They, along with Charlotte, have challenged each other to blog together every Tuesday. Perfection not required. So, I'm in. Not this week, I couldn't pull it off, but that's OK! (See what I did there?) My plan is to get a quick post up at least every Tuesday, in whatever form it comes.

So, I'll be blogging our shared Together on Tuesday topics from a Just Living perspective . . . social justice and the like. I'm also thinking about Just Living in a new way, with my little one here. Just Living . . . as in simply living . . . as in making space for my child to soak all the joy out of life while making the world a better place. As in wondering how to preserve the sanctity of childhood in this crazy world. As in learning how to simply breathe and accept that while we can change our worlds in many ways, there are some times you just have to trust everything will be OK.

So, I'm back to blogging, and I'm on my way back to just living. Glad you're along for the ride. :)