ToT: RAOK

SO.

Today was a Random Act of Kindness challenge. As in do one, then write about it.

A little background . . .

This one was my idea, for a few reasons. Random Acts of Kindness (RAOK) kind of came back into my view following the Sandy Hook tragedy . . . as in do an act of kindness in honor of each life lost. It's a lovely way to attempt to find the light in a dark situation, I think. It got me thinking . . . I've been doing more than my share of navel gazing over the last couple of years. I'm all for introspection and self-awareness--I believe it makes us better people and therefore makes the world a better place--but the balance has been off. There is plenty of mess and muck to trudge through, and I've made it my career to do so in hopes of making an impact, but it gets awfully heavy sometimes. I wanted to challenge myself to find simple, light-hearted ways to make the world a better place.

I've often thought of little ideas here or there that might be fun, but actually doing them is a different story. Absent-mindedness or laziness sets in, distractions arise, doubts surface, or whatever the reason, many of my so-called good ideas go undone. So what good are they, really? Then there's the whole 'random' aspect. Intentional acts of kindness ring a bit more true to me . . . seeking out a particular person in a particular situation to share a particular something is more my style. And, lots of things people categorize as 'random acts of kindness' seem like just common courtesy . . . you know, like smiling at the check-out clerk.

So, choosing a 'random act of kindness,' meaning some kind of gesture for someone I don't know intended to brighten their day, became the task. If you're an extrovert, maybe this is not daunting at all. In theory, I didn't think it would be either, until it was actually time to DO it. Lots of typical ideas didn't sit right with me . . . I don't go through drive-throughs often at all. Or I convinced myself there were all kinds of logistical reasons I couldn't pull it off, lugging a toddler around. (Again, I just have the one kid--I admire all of you mamas out there with more!) It felt almost awkward, surprisingly, to think about how to do something kind and out-of-the-ordinary without fumbling around . . . Or it just didn't seem special enough, BIG enough, worth writing about.

And then I realized I was doing it again . . . letting the perfect be the enemy of the good. As fellow blogger Danielle's husband (and a stand-up guy from back in high school) said, "Sometimes DONE is better than PERFECT." I could spend days coming up with some elaborate scheme, or I could just brighten someone's day.

You can download free printables at thirtyhandmadedays.com

So, I just looked in front of me and started there. It has been awfully icky outside, and we have a little stash of Starbucks cards inside, and our mail carrier brings us all kinds of wonderful things like magazines and baby shoes and Etsy packages through all kinds of weather, and warm beverages are cozy and comforting. So I fixed up a little thank you card, added a ribbon to hang it and make it kind of special, threw the gift card inside along with one of the cards to the right (thank you, Pinterest and thirtyhandmadedays.com), hung it on our mailbox, and there you have it.

I don't remember speaking with the mail carrier but once previously, as I happened to be leaving for a run as he was arriving. So he was definitely a stranger. And when the card had awkwardly fallen on the ground before he arrived, he had to awkwardly ring the bell and ask if it was for him--to which I un-awkwardly (by sheer determination) said yes, it was, just a little something. He said thank you, something is better than nothing (he meant that kindly, I think), and went along about his day.

Honestly, this was about the lowest-effort RAOK I could have pulled off. Part of me feels guilty about this. Part of me thinks I should have found something spectacular. Part of me thinks if this was so simple, why did it take nearly 8 years of living here before I left the mailman a thank you?

And most of me realizes that is a silly reason to feel guilty--as well as a good reason to change that moving forward. No more *thinking* about baking cookies to take to the new neighbors, just do it! No more hemming and hawing over small gestures because we're not sure how they will be received . . . if they are done in kindness and respect, and the recipient is treated in kindness and respect regardless of their response, that's what matters.

I do have a few more ideas about some RAOKs and intentional acts of kindness that I would like to do moving forward. I loved an idea I read--taping quarters to the children's vending machines at the store. I've had a few ideas on how to brighten the workday at the office. And who knows, maybe I will get a flash of genius about a witty, creative, delightful RAOK to put together with more planning and effort. Maybe I won't. Either way, I believe that small gestures can have a big impact, sometimes cumulatively as the smiles ripple throughout the day, or sometimes all on their own. I want James to believe this, too. So together, as a family, we seek to intentionally share kindness in our world, in the little things every day. It's just good for everyone.

I can't wait to hear the thoughts of the other ToT ladies. Check out the links to the right!

What about you? Have you ever been on the receiving end of one of these RAOKs? Do tell!