Wedneday Wisdom

I've been thinking this one over for awhile. It's tempting to work like crazy, making things happen, manipulating situations into perceived success. When dealing with people, though, goodness blossoms at its own time. Christmas teaches that lesson well: the world was a mess, so God planted a teeny, tiny seed in a woman and allowed it to grow. And that is what saved the world.

"Adopt the pace of nature; her secret is patience."

--Ralph Waldo Emerson

Merry Christmas!

Double your money! Act now! Operators are standing by!

If you're looking for an alternative Christmas idea, or an organization to give your year-end tax-deductable donation, or if your heart has been stirred by the horrors of human trafficking and the degradation of America's sex industry, or if you want an opportunity to change a woman's life, then I strongly urge you to check out Doma International!

Doma has an opportunity to earn $54,000 before the end of 2010--on condition that they raise $27,000 themselves. If they raise $27,000, a generous donor will DOUBLE it to $54,000! If they raise $26,500, then no match.If you've ever considered giving to Doma, even giving $10, $100, $1,000, or $10,000, now is the time!

With these funds, Doma will be developing their Bloom! house for women who are exiting prostitution and the pain that goes with it, growing firmer roots and reaching toward the sun. The program will provide victim support services in conjunction with the courts and substance abuse recovery. The women learn basic life skills, build healthy relationships, and engage in nurturing activities, all while being surrounded with strong women who care about them and their futures. This program is a part of Project Green Light, seeking to end human trafficking in Ohio, the United States, and the world.

Could this be your first step (or next step) in the modern abolitionist movement?

Could this be your chance to bring this situation to the attention of someone (or some organization) who can make this matching grant a reality?

Do you have questions about prostitution, human trafficking, or Doma?

You can contact me. Or contact Julie Clark, CEO of Doma, Daniel, development director, or Tom English, COO. Or if you're ready to give, head on over to Doma's secure giving site hosted by eTapestry and give to your heart's content.

Could you please share this information with friends, family, and organizations through emails, reposts, links, and even phone calls?

Please don't wait, we only have until December 31, 2010!!

And THANK YOU for your care and concern for women and children, at home and beyond!

Time Flies

I definitely thought I'd be blogging more in Advent.

And I definitely discovered that the spirit of Advent and Christmas is more present in our home when we spend less time with a computer in our laps.

Living the meaning of Advent comes easier some days than others. And our calendar idea will undergo some tweaking next year, as delivering suprise cookies works better on some days than others, for example. But it's been a fun adventure and a joy, living mindfully this season and focusing on what matters. We've been reading lots of St Francis, spending good time with good people, and opening our eyes to new opportunities. I thought I'd be blogging more, but I guess there are brighter and warmer things for me to do this season. I'm OK with that. :)

Wednesday Wisdom

Christmas means nostalgia. For the children I work with, it means memories and missing people you love with all your heart. For so many people, it stings, as they are more alone than they dreamed they would be.

Maybe we need to take a bit more care of ourselves during this holiday season, to learn from our feelings and grow into stronger, more sensitive people. And most definitely, we need to look around and extend some warmth, maybe open our homes, to someone who is feeling alone.

"Christmas is a time when you get homesick--even when you're home."
-Carol Nelson

Linus and Lucy

Linus is concerned that Christmas has gone too commercial. Lucy is just glad that Christmas means lots of presents for pretty girls. Argh! I feel like Linus in a Lucy world.

It is so, so hard to find gifts that fit our values, fit our budgets, and delight the people we love. After years of shopping for gifts that make wise use of resources and support human dignity (not slavery), we feel like we have maxed out Global Gifts, Fair Indigo, and the like. We're trying Global Girlfriend. We're trying Uncommon Goods, though I am not convinced these products are produced fairly. When we buy mainstream gifts, we try to buy smart, using Green America's Responsible Shopper. But the sad truth is, there is a limited supply of items that feel good for us to buy and give.

Further, I have never enjoyed giving gifts just to say I have given a gift. I want to give something meaningful, useful, fun, worthwhile. The honest truth is that for most people on my list, they have PLENTY. A feast of more than enough. It is hard to find an item that cuts through the accumulation of stuff to be a meaningful gift.

What to do? We have tried to give gifts of presence, not just presents. Tickets, time together, etc. Sometimes that works better than others. I would love to stick to what a lovely woman I know calls the secondhand, handmade, fairtrade rule, but sometimes I shy away because I'm not sure how it would be received. Or what about contributing to college funds for the busy kids who seem to have everything?

We're still pondering, but we're running out of time! What about you? How do you go about selecting a lovely Christmas gift?

Wednesday Wisdom

Remember my perfectionism compulsion? Who knows why I'm this way, but it's taken me 31 years to get here so I have some grace for myself if I haven't quite mastered it yet. A fresh perspective, at least for me, and a beautiful relief and challenge:

"A [woman] who fails well is greater than one who succeeds badly. One who is content in what [she] has, and who accepts the fact that [she] inevitably misses very much in life, is far better off than one who has much more but who worries about all [she] may be missing. For we cannot make the best of what we are, if our hearts are always divided between what we are and what we are not." --Thomas Merton

Wednesday Wisdom

I find wisdom in so many places. I read it and hear it every day, from friends, family and famous people. Looks like Wednesdays will be a weekly homage to the wisdom I gather throughout the week. As we enter Advent, I am striving to keep the spirit of the season alive in every moment of even the bleakest day. Thus,

"It is Christmas in the heart that puts Christmas in the air."
--W. T. Ellis

empathy overload

I've always been an empathetic person. It's a strength and a weakness, as many things are. As a kid, I cried over worms getting eaten by birds. They just seemed so small and so scared; it wasn't their fault they were in the wrong place at the wrong time. And what about their families!? And so forth.

Empathy can be a beautiful thing. And if run wild, it can be a disaster.

I think the busy-ness of working multiple jobs and plowing through school numbed me a bit over the past few years. I had missed my wild and alive feelings and looked forward to being myself again. Be careful what you wish for . . .

I love my job, and I wouldn't trade it. Sometimes I am fully functioning and effective, and my empathetic tendencies serve my clients in the best way. I can see from their perspective, but step back and help them find effective ways to address their circumstances without feeling it personally. Many times, I can do that at work, but the feelings come home with me and linger. Sometimes, I am emotionally raw, and the enormity of everyone's feelings begins to overwhelm me. I'm there now.

So what do I do?

This is why Just Living in the little things is so important to me. I have been learning, and am still learning, that there is only so much of me to go around. I did not come to save the world, just to breathe a little warmth into my corner of it. If I am going to be who I was created to be, I have to nurture light and health for myself so I can share it with the world.

This week, I have my last retreat with The Journey, which came at a perfect time. I have spent a year with 19 other youth workers from all over Indiana as we seek to grow into our best selves, personally and professionally, for the sake of the youth we serve. I've learned more about nurturing my inner light this year than I have in my previous 30 (despite hearty efforts by my parents to help me keep my cool). I'm still struggling, and there will always be times when a child's horrifying experiences weigh on my soul. But they need me to continue to grow, and to keep myself strong, because for some of them I am among the only strength they can see.

So, I'm running away for a few days and I plan to return fresh, strong, and alive. I hope and pray the same for all of you.

Advent!

Advent is here! This year, our traditional purple and pink candles at church were traded for blue, representing the hope of Christmas. That works for me.

This year, we are celebrating Advent a bit differently. Along with readings and reflection, we are filling all of our senses with holiday spirit and seeking to live mindfully this time of year. We're replacing the hustle and bustle with the scent of pine and cinnamon, time with friends and family, and challenges to extend hope and love a little further this year.

So, instead of the typical advent calendar with a chocolate treat inside (which you can get fair trade from Divine), we have a reusable calendar we found on Etsy. It's so clever! The artist covered matchboxes with beautiful paper and numbered them, then added magnets. It's on our fridge for now, but eventually we will find a beautiful way to display the calendar.


We listed ways to celebrate together and share the season with others: Invite a guest for cookies and cocoa. Share some warm clothes. Learn a new holiday carol. Spend some time looking at the stars. We placed a slip inside each box, and every morning we will have a new way to celebrate.

We're excited! I'll share throughout the season what comes of our advent experiment. Our hope is that not only will the season fill our hearts and minds in a new way, but that we will be able to share hope and light with everyone around us this season.

What about you? How do you celebrate Advent? What are your traditions for preparing for Christmas?

I really want to know!

grateful . . .

. . . for the striped cat curled up in my lap and his fluffy brother at my side

. . . for the steaming, fragrant cup of tea prepared with love by my kindhearted husband

. . . for the work that pays the bills and feeds my soul

. . . for green grass and crunchy leaves

. . . for the redemptive powers of love and grace

. . . for moments of beauty and truth

. . . for friends who lighten my spirit and make me a better person

. . . for family who loves, loves, loves

. . . for my husband, lifelong love, and friend, who nurtures my heart and brings so much joy

. . . for surprises and new beginnings

. . . for challenges, and for the strength to see them through

. . . for growth and change

. . . for a path directed by wisdom higher than mine

. . . for daydreams and memories

. . . for life and breath and time

" . . . If the only prayer you say in your life is 'thank you,' that would suffice."
--Meister Eckhart

Happy Thanksgiving to all of you! May your day overflow with moments of gratitude and joy.

Consumption Check-Up

Remember our consumerism fast? The effects are still lingering. It's pretty enjoyable. I had a couple of rough patches, like really wanting to use the WiFi at a coffee spot downtown but feeling guilty for going in but not buying. I called my husband so he could talk me down, and it worked. I sat in my car and typed. But overall, it was nice to remind ourselves to spend our time and money on things that really matter. We are more mindful of how we shop and how our purchases affect others. And really, we just don't miss shopping.

With Advent starting Sunday, we are planning to celebrate our holiday season intentionally. That means more people, more reflection, more sights, sounds, and smells, more time, and less stuff--and it begins now. You won't see us shopping on Black Friday! Some stores are opening Thursday, for pity's sake. I am all for workers getting holiday pay if they want it, and everyone agrees that jobs are good in this climate, I just feel for the workers sacrificing their rest, sanity, and family time. I know lots of people who love Black Friday shopping and use it as a family ritual, too, and that can be a good thing. I just wonder if it's gotten out of hand . . . people hurt each other, people have even died, just over saving a few dollars to buy something they might have done without. It's just not something we can participate in and still enjoy our day.

So this Friday, we will continue our consumerism fast. We'll rest, exercise, probably work (that's another post for another day--but I'm doing better!), and enjoy each other. Our family ritual is to put the Christmas decorations up, break out our favorite Christmas music, make a big meal, and set the tone for our holiday season.

What about you? How do you celebrate this famed day after Thanksgiving?

The Weapon We Have is Love

"Did you ever wish that Harry Potter was real? Well it kind of is."



How much do I love that there are other Harry Potter fans who deeply feel the book's resonance with social justice issues? Check out the Harry Potter Alliance, a group of fans who seeks to defeat the dark arts in our world. Their first task: slave-free chocolate. Julie Clawson spells it out better than I ever could (as she often does--remember how much I love Everyday Justice?), and they are slated for NPR's Morning Edition tomorrow. I am so excited at the prospect of bringing this message to a mainstream pop culture audience, and I'm inspired by the young people who have taken it to heart. Cheers to HPA!

No More Dirty Looks

For the last 6 years or so, natural and homemade personal care products have been the norm around here. Sadly, I found myself slowly compromising my standards for the sake of quality or convenience, thinking my lungs can probably handle a little bit of polymer (read:plastic!) from my hairspray . . . things like that. It was time for a reality check. Enter Siobhan and Alexandra from No More Dirty Looks.

Loved it! The book is so informative and readable--much more so than others I've read on the topic. I'm so glad Cara sent it my way. After tearing through my library copy, I had to buy it (secondhand, of course). It works like a handbook, with lists of dangerous ingredients as well as safer products they have tried. These ladies care about looking polished and professional, but not at the sake of their personal well-being (or negative effects on factory workers and the environment). I love that Alexandra has hair just like mine--it makes the information all the more valuable!

For example, did you know you can make hair gel out of aloe and hairspray out of lemons, water, and vodka? Did you know baking soda makes a refreshing facial scrub and coconut oil a soothing body moisturiser? Did you know that you shouldn't wash your hair daily and should only use soap sparingly?

If you're interested in caring for yourself and your planet, if you're interested in avoiding cancers, endocrine disruption, respiratory issues, or other yucky ailments, if you'd like to prevent oil spills, and if you'd like to look cute while doing it, I highly recommend this book. I've just ordered my first products on their recommendation: John Masters Sunscreen and La Vanilla fragrance. I'll keep you posted!

My Ongoing Existential Dilemma

On the way back from a lovely night away, Ben and I stopped at an icky outlet mall. We don't love shopping or anything, but we try to use sales and coupons to get some good deals for basics and wardrobe updates a couple times a year. We struggle with knowing where to shop to cause the least harm, and sites like Green America and Chain Store Reaction help us make some choices. (For example, Gap stores, which include Old Navy, Athleta, and Banana Republic, have put significant effort into slavery issues. They are not perfect, but they are responding.)

Almost every time I shop at a typical retail store, I freak out a little bit. Sitting in the parking lot Saturday, with a bag of stuff in my lap, our engine idling with dozens of other vehicles trying to escape the shrine to commerce, I got a sick feeling. The whole process is in stark contrast with what I truly value. All of those people spending all of that time chasing stuff! It makes my stomach hurt. I get the angst. There is a part of me that enjoys the aesthetics of dressing in a way that reflects my style, and part of me finds it restorative to take care of myself in a way that keeps my temple shiny. But most of me couldn't care less!

This inevitably brought us to the Christmas conversation. We love, love, love the people on our gift list, but every last one of them has more than enough stuff! We have tried different approaches in the past: donations in people's honor, gifts that support causes, gifts of time and presence. How can we share Christmas in a way that both honors our loved ones and is consistent with our values of peace and justice?

I think we're going to try some new things this year. It takes some creativity to participate in American holiday culture without elevating stuff and busy-ness above the essence of the holidays. Advent is coming. This year, the Clarks are considering our own version of the Advent Conspiracy and Sojourner's Peace and Justice Christmas--not just a smidge, but full-on. Throughout Advent, I'll be blogging our thoughts, discoveries, experiments, and even failings at celebrating the essence of Christmas, and nothing more. I hope you will join us!