33 Things

Hello, old friends.

I've missed writing. I have been occupied with other things. I left a job I loved for a job that was a better fit for my family and my life, and the transition took a lot of energy. We are settling in now and I am so thankful for the opportunity to do what I love and care for my family at the same time. But more about that later.

Danielle at My Peaches and Cream wrote a few weeks back about how hard it is to blog when all this heavy-duty life is going on all around you. I've been living that lately. Lots of serious stuff in lots of places, and our little family keeps trying to share the love where it needs to be shared. It feels silly to sit and type when real life is happening--except that real life is always happening, and writing helps keep me sane.

So, I'm back. At least for now. I'm squeezing this in a small window between rushing home from a rehearsal and hanging out with my husband. And my heart is full, full, full for a dear friend and her family who are grieving a tremendous loss. And I'm getting old, people. In the spirit of my pending 33rd birthday, and in in the interest of writing at all, I give you 33 Things.

1. Life is amazing.
2. A wise woman once told me we never feel we have enough time with the people we love.
3. Think about that as you decide what's important to do RIGHT NOW. Today. Tomorrow.
4. Also, all of the time we get with the beautiful people placed in our lives is a gift.
5. I have always thought people deserve respect just for being human.
6. That includes people who are different from us.
7. There are good, kind, intelligent, caring people on all sides of any issue.
8. There are people who get the brunt of other people's frustration far too often.
9. Those are the people I feel drawn to protect.
10. They probably don't need my protection--they have done just fine without me for a long time.
11. So instead, I will constantly work for what I believe is just and true.
12. And, I will constantly look around, listen to other people, and learn about what justice and truth really mean.
13. That's what I love about being a social worker.
14. I hope I can be the kind of mom whose children grow up knowing integrity, compassion, and courage.
15. If people were as engaged in service as they are in political rhetoric, the world would be a better place.
16. I am extremely grateful for my parents.
17. I am extremely grateful for my friends.
18. I am extremely grateful for my mind and education.
19. I am extremely humbled and grateful that I continue to grow and change.
20. My mom said a few years back that there is no reason the coming years can't be the happiest of our lives.
21. That was a big deal, because we have a big hole in our family that will never be filled.
22. I thought that was a pretty courageous statement.
23. I think that's what hope means.
24. I'm glad my husband challenges me.
25. Being a mother challenges me in ways I never could have conceived before.
26. Watching my child grow is ridiculous and inspiring and humbling and fascinating and joyful.
27. I guess I have been feeling soulful these days.
28. Impermanence is the only permanence.
29. It is an honor to grow older.
30. I wonder if being an adult means there is more heavy-duty life going on around us all the time.
31. Maybe that's why there are children--to bring the joy and light.
32. I love my boy so much it hurts. Really.
33. In honor of a dear friend:

"I have found the paradox that if I love until it hurts, then there is no hurt, only more love." 

~Mother Teresa

Another day, I'll be back with a lighter heart. For now, my heart is grateful for my mama, my family, my friends. I'm a lucky one.

ToT (late again!): State of the Union

I've been pretty distracted this week, mostly with good stuff. We've got some changes coming. AND my baby boy has turned ONE! His birthday was Tuesday, so I took a break. I'll be blogging about that soon . . . my thoughts and feelings keep swirling. I guess that's motherhood.

Last week, though, we were to write about the state of things today. Is the country falling apart? Going to 'hell in a handbasket?' Why?

Whew.

I could say a LOT on this, but I am going to try not to. (Don't laugh.) I think I have a few unique perspectives on this, being a social worker married to an historian--I have a front-row seat to some of the uglier sides of our culture, and a chat with my husband can help me put that in context. So a few thoughts . . .

Further Reading . . .

Just some other writings on the Chick-fil-A drama . . . there are many more views out there, of course. I found these particularly interesting. It's always good to consider multiple perspectives. Enjoy.

"I'm Sorry for Yesterday"

Anonymous experience of a Gay Chick-fil-A employee

And of course, fellow ToT blogger, Danielle

Wednesday Wisdom

" . . . liberty may be endangered by the abuses of liberty, as well as by the abuses of power . . ."

-James Madison in the Federalist Papers, no 63

If you want a history lesson on this, ask my husband.

ToT: Current Events

So . . . today's Together on Tuesday topics is either a wild card or your thoughts on some current events . . . namely, the Aurora, CO shootings and the Chick-fil-A drama around anti-gay marriage comments and contributions. I have a wild card formulating, but it seems kind of shallow to write about clothes--even ethically-sourced clothes--with these subjects on the table. Good grief, the whole point about this blog is how to impact and respond to society in a way that promotes justice, mercy, and humility. Plus, I'm a social worker. People usually do NOT want to hear me speak on this type of topic. I often have a lot to say, and in these cases, much of what I think, feel, and believe has already been said by others elsewhere. So, I am going to tackle both topics with the same principle in mind.

There are real people involved in these issues.

Wednesday Wisdom: Independence Day

"Every difference of opinion is not a difference of principle."

--Thomas Jefferson

Happy Women's Day/Mardi Gras!

There's too much to celebrate today to post about detox! There will be plenty of that in Lent.

Today is Mardi Gras, otherwise known as Fat Tuesday. If you know me at all, you know I'm not a big partier. Not a lot of excess and revelry for me today, but I will eat some pancakes and indulge a bit. Today I will find as many opportunities to celebrate as I can, even during a full day of work, work, work.

Even more importantly to me, it's International Women's Day! In the US, this holiday is sometimes overlooked but growing in popularity. Around the world, it's treated much differently. Our Russian friends are celebrating Spring today and honoring their woman with flowers, songs, and extra doses of kindness. In other places, women are gathering to celebrate their achievements and fight for greater equality. This is a great day to celebrate the women in history who paved the way for us to raise our voices and follow our dreams. While things aren't perfect here in the US, we've come a long way over the last century.

This is also a great day to educate ourselves about women's issues around the world, such as reproductive and maternal health, modern day slavery, poverty, equal rights, microenterprise and independence, and education issues. Check out CARE, Doma International, or another organization of your choice to learn more. The women of the world need each other!

Photo Credit ABC

Happy Women's Day! Let the good times roll!

Haves and Have Nots

I'm all about responsible use of resources. We don't carry debt in our home (aside from mortgage and student loans, and we're diligent with those). We live below our means. If we couldn't pay cash for it, we do without. I'm grateful we've been able to make these choices.

That said, there are instances where people are stuck with 2 bad choices. Do you go into debt or do without the transportation that gets you to work? Do you go into debt or do without medicine that keeps you going?

This new proposed budget gives me a headache. I really, really value fiscal responsibility. But not as much as I value protecting vulnerable members of our society. What is more important to us, as a society?

How did we get to a place where certain people 'deserve' to be wealthy? The argument I hear over and over again is how hard they work for it. That drives me crazy. Why?

Guess who else works hard? Garbage collectors. Certified Nurses Assistants. Construction workers. Warehouse staff. Servers in restaurants. Maintenance workers. Teachers. People who work 3 icky jobs to cover their bills. While I'm at it, why not add social workers?

So that's why tax breaks for the top echelon of society give me a headache. You can find wealthy people who work harder than many average or low-income people. You can find plenty of low-income people who bust their tails every day while some wealthy people rely on other people's hard work to sit pretty. Comparing someone who was born into a wealthy family and inherited a position at a big firm to someone who was born into nothing, treated with little dignity, and worked her way into a $9.25/hr job at age 18, who do you think works harder?

There are all kinds of stories from all kinds of backgrounds, and they are all worthy of respect. The problem comes when society tells us the story of the wealthy person is more valuable than the story of the hard working single mom, or the lonely widow on a fixed low income.

There is disgusting behavior across the socio-economic spectrum. I often hear people decrying the ugliness of welfare fraud, and I agree. If you don't need food stamps, or if you can get by without pulling a big social security check, it would be nice to save those funds for people who truly need them to survive in this culture. We would save a lot of money that way. BUT, how many people in the top 10% income bracket need the luxuries and excess they can afford?

Maybe these painful cuts to programs like heating assistance for low-income citizens or community action programs for struggling neighborhoods wouldn't hurt so bad if I knew everyone was chipping in to keep our society strong. Maybe it wouldn't be so hard to take if I knew we were cutting the fat in our enormous defense fund, or if I knew the only people receiving the assistance that remains were the people who truly needed it.

Maybe the cuts wouldn't be so bad if I saw the best of human behavior, across the socioeconomic spectrum. Maybe people struggling to survive can band together and support each other, although I certainly know that is easier said than done. Maybe people with large incomes who believe in charity over government assistance can fully engage themselves in giving--and not just in charity, but in true social change that unites our society instead of dividing us into haves and have nots. Maybe we can work together across economic lines to build a more just society.

Maybe. But for now, we're stuck with 2 bad choices: an unsustainable budget that tries to care for our struggling citizens, or a slightly more sustainable budget that leaves people even more vulnerable.

Maybe we can find a better way.

awareness vs. activism

art from www.beatplay.wordpress.com

I spend a lot of time learning, building awareness, about what's going on in the world. NPR, New York Times, blogosphere, books, documentaries, you name it. I am aware about a lot more issues than I am actively involved in changing.

But, it is awareness that leads to activism, which leads to change. Activism sounds big and intimidating, but it's really quite simple: taking action towards change, and urging others to do the same. If I had never learned about child slavery, I would have never become a fair-trade activist (and in turn, and anti-slavery activist). If I had never seen the massive inequalities children face in our society, I would never have become a social worker (which is a full-time activist). And so on, and so forth . . .

Of course, no one can be equally involved and passionate about ALL social issues. Some people give their lives to fight for clean water, some people fight for food and shelter for everyone, some people fight slavery, some fight loneliness. All of it is important, and I think each of us should find our passion and dive right in. But what about being integrated, and living our values even in the little things?

I think sometimes awareness feels like activism--watching a gripping movie that teaches us about some social ill makes us feel really smart and compassionate. And while that learning is important, it only matters in so far as it changes us, and in turn, changes society.

So while I spend all day working to make sure children who got an unfair hand have access to everything they need to grow up healthy, I also try to beactive in little ways, like reducing negative impact on our environment, or trying to use my money in ways that make the world better. I think I can call myself a Fair Trade Activist, even though it's not a full time gig. I also have a long way to go . . . I am trying to increase my impact with clean water for all and making my voice heard in a greater variety of justice issues, and I know I can do more. We can be everyday activists--in fact, it's among the most important things we can be! I firmly believe that the world will truly change when all of us make series of small choices that make life better for everyone.

Awareness, yes. But because it leads to activism, and because activism leads to change.

If you're looking to make a difference RIGHT NOW, check out http://www.domaconnection.org/ and give. They are 3 days away from a major opportunity, and they need you!

Protecting our Children

Prostitution is one of those topics that causes most people to bristle. There's an image that goes with prostitution, and it's usually of a desperate woman trying to make a dollar, sometimes to feed her family, sometimes for a glamorous life, often for drugs. The word 'pimp' has somehow become a hip verb and adjective.

But what if you knew that the average age of entry into prostitution in this country is 12-14? That real pimps are often slick manipulaters who lure vulnerable girls into debt, fear, drug addiction so they can make a buck by renting them out to abusive "customers"? That the young women are held in terrifying circumstances, unable to leave? That many pimps are women? What if you realized that an adult having sex with a minor is a crime, but in many places, if the minor receives money (regardless of who it goes to), the minor becomes the criminal?

Don't believe me? CNN just yesterday busted a story about a huge child prostitution crackdown IN THE UNITED STATES. 884 arrests, 99 of them pimps. 69 children recovered. And that's just one 3-day raid in places like Seattle, Nashville, Detroit.

This ring in particular has been going on for over 10 years. Many of the arrests were of adult prostitutes. How many of those, do you think, were trapped in this lifestyle as children? The day they turn 18, they go from victims (if recognized as victims at all) to criminals.

As long as there are people who will pay to abuse women and children, there will be people who will exploit them to make some money. As long as society turns a blind eye to these horrifying events, they will continue.



So what do we do? Learn as much as we can! Tell our lawmakers that we won't allow people to buy and sell our children while our children pay with their lives. Organizations such as the Polaris Project, Shared Hope, and Free the Slaves are great places to start. Doma International educates communities on the harsh realities of the sex industry. I've worked with them in Ohio, and I'd love to do the same here in Indianapolis. I'm always looking for potential partners. Who's with me? If you, your church, or your communities are interested in learning more about fighting domestic sex trafficking of children, visit http://www.domaconnection.org/ or drop me a note. It's up to us to protect our children.

Perspective

Photo from www.rallytorestoresanity.com

Reading these words moves me to gratitude and inspires me to action. So many people need food, clothing, shelter, health, safety, and education! The way we live our lives can make things happen. This is the essence of just living. What are your thoughts when you read this? What can we be doing together?

VOTE!

A wise woman I know reminds the youth she works with that not everyone gets to vote. Yes, our process is flawed. Yes, our choices can be frustrating. But how do we expect anything to get any better by just sitting and complaining!



Lee Hamilton was on Diane Rehm today and reminded listeners that freedom brings responsibility. He also stated that a politician's job is to build consensus towards solutions, not to tear each other apart. I think voters should do the same thing! Let candidates know your thoughts. Weigh concerns, weigh options for solutions, listen to all sides, and make an informed, rational choice. VOTE! And after we vote, we should pitch in and get involved in our communities, making them stronger from the roots.

There are still two weeks to research candidates. For starters, Indiana voters can use the Indianapolis Star's handy voter guide to help us figure out who is running in our districts. But that's just a starting point--it's a great idea to do some research and see what the candidates are saying in their own words (and consider the source of other information). You can even vote early.

And be bold! Don't be afraid! Or as someone said last election cycle, vote your hopes and not your fears.

Here's my chance to sneak in a plug for a lovable little cartoon--a lighthearted look at what can happen when we vote in fear. And please, remember to Vote, Vote, Vote!

Inspiration

If I could recommend one book on faith and social justice, it would be Everyday Justice by Julie Clawson. I wish I wrote it, and I am so thankful she did! It touches on justice issues that truly intersect with our lives daily and gives clear, meaningful information on why all of us should care. The writing is compelling and free of judgment, and the tips are practical and easily applied to daily life (for those of us in middle class US culture).

This book, among other things, inspired this blog. I hope my musings on discoveries, experiments, progress, and failures will help us all better understand how we can make daily choices which impact our world for the better. And I hope everyone I know reads Everyday Justice!!!

Simple Innovations

Thanks to DVR, Ben and watched a little Letterman the other night and saw President Clinton. He was talking about how many jobs we could create by building green energy and innovations. Simple example: put people to work whitewashing tar roofs in big cities. It's cheaper than roof gardens (which are better) but still saves a lot of energy and money for the building owner. He also believes that our country's best shot at economic recovery is building renewable energy sources on our own soil. It all made so much sense! But how do we prioritize real solutions and pragmatic progress when the political climate is so toxic?

We're registered independent. We like ideas that work.

Maybe Jon Stewart's Rally to Restore Sanity will change the tide of election season. It's hard to make progress when we're too busy fighting.

Wishful thinking? Maybe. I guess that conversation has been going for awhile.