ToT: Black Friday, Indeed

Today, I am posting my Together on Tuesday topic RIGHT ON TIME! Barely. Small victories.

Time to share our thoughts on Black Friday. If you've been reading my blog for any length of time, it won't be hard to guess what I have to say.

"Christmas is not only getting too commercial, it's getting too dangerous."

Happy Thanksgiving

Gratitude

Ah, November. The leaves change from colorful to brown and crunchy, the air from cool to biting. We Scorpios celebrate our birthdays. There's an odd mix of Halloween leftovers and Christmas early birds all around. College football gets serious--OSU vs Michigan, anyone? And we spend the month reflecting on gratitude.

I like the idea of taking all of November listing the many things for which I am thankful--I even got into the spirit on Facebook, which takes some commitment (if you're me). Being the type who is constantly striving to do more and do it better, there is a lot of value in my reflecting on the good things all around me. I've spent a lot of time examining deficits in hopes of improvement, but that's only valuable when you can enjoy the good things as they are. Professionally, social workers try to be strengths-based--the theory being that we grow more when we focus on our strengths rather than our problems. I could use more of that in my daily life--even in this blog, really. I have been blessed with far more rainbows than thunderstorms in my world. So, again, with the lists . . . and since it's my 33rd year, 33 is the magic number. 

Here are 33 Things I am Thankful for in my 33rd Year.

A Thanksgiving Sermon

{from homegrownhospitality.typepad.com}

ToT Rewind: Busyness, Stillness

Flashback . . . ToT topic from September . . .

We're reflecting this week on The Busy Trap. Good reading from NY Times, I think. If you would rather not read, though, basically the author is considering whether or not all of our busy-ness is worthwhile. He asserts much of it is self-imposed, mindless clutter that may not always enhance our lives. I guess I agree.

33 Things

Hello, old friends.

I've missed writing. I have been occupied with other things. I left a job I loved for a job that was a better fit for my family and my life, and the transition took a lot of energy. We are settling in now and I am so thankful for the opportunity to do what I love and care for my family at the same time. But more about that later.

Danielle at My Peaches and Cream wrote a few weeks back about how hard it is to blog when all this heavy-duty life is going on all around you. I've been living that lately. Lots of serious stuff in lots of places, and our little family keeps trying to share the love where it needs to be shared. It feels silly to sit and type when real life is happening--except that real life is always happening, and writing helps keep me sane.

So, I'm back. At least for now. I'm squeezing this in a small window between rushing home from a rehearsal and hanging out with my husband. And my heart is full, full, full for a dear friend and her family who are grieving a tremendous loss. And I'm getting old, people. In the spirit of my pending 33rd birthday, and in in the interest of writing at all, I give you 33 Things.

1. Life is amazing.
2. A wise woman once told me we never feel we have enough time with the people we love.
3. Think about that as you decide what's important to do RIGHT NOW. Today. Tomorrow.
4. Also, all of the time we get with the beautiful people placed in our lives is a gift.
5. I have always thought people deserve respect just for being human.
6. That includes people who are different from us.
7. There are good, kind, intelligent, caring people on all sides of any issue.
8. There are people who get the brunt of other people's frustration far too often.
9. Those are the people I feel drawn to protect.
10. They probably don't need my protection--they have done just fine without me for a long time.
11. So instead, I will constantly work for what I believe is just and true.
12. And, I will constantly look around, listen to other people, and learn about what justice and truth really mean.
13. That's what I love about being a social worker.
14. I hope I can be the kind of mom whose children grow up knowing integrity, compassion, and courage.
15. If people were as engaged in service as they are in political rhetoric, the world would be a better place.
16. I am extremely grateful for my parents.
17. I am extremely grateful for my friends.
18. I am extremely grateful for my mind and education.
19. I am extremely humbled and grateful that I continue to grow and change.
20. My mom said a few years back that there is no reason the coming years can't be the happiest of our lives.
21. That was a big deal, because we have a big hole in our family that will never be filled.
22. I thought that was a pretty courageous statement.
23. I think that's what hope means.
24. I'm glad my husband challenges me.
25. Being a mother challenges me in ways I never could have conceived before.
26. Watching my child grow is ridiculous and inspiring and humbling and fascinating and joyful.
27. I guess I have been feeling soulful these days.
28. Impermanence is the only permanence.
29. It is an honor to grow older.
30. I wonder if being an adult means there is more heavy-duty life going on around us all the time.
31. Maybe that's why there are children--to bring the joy and light.
32. I love my boy so much it hurts. Really.
33. In honor of a dear friend:

"I have found the paradox that if I love until it hurts, then there is no hurt, only more love." 

~Mother Teresa

Another day, I'll be back with a lighter heart. For now, my heart is grateful for my mama, my family, my friends. I'm a lucky one.

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

Hi, bloggy friends,

Don't worry, I'm not abandoning you. (As if you were worried.) Just off taking care of a few things, going through some changes, and having a little fun. I'll be back soon enough. Not sure when, but soon enough. (Because I always have something to say.)

In the meantime, keep reading the lovely ladies on the right of the screen.

                                                  Cheers,             

ToT (late again!): State of the Union

I've been pretty distracted this week, mostly with good stuff. We've got some changes coming. AND my baby boy has turned ONE! His birthday was Tuesday, so I took a break. I'll be blogging about that soon . . . my thoughts and feelings keep swirling. I guess that's motherhood.

Last week, though, we were to write about the state of things today. Is the country falling apart? Going to 'hell in a handbasket?' Why?

Whew.

I could say a LOT on this, but I am going to try not to. (Don't laugh.) I think I have a few unique perspectives on this, being a social worker married to an historian--I have a front-row seat to some of the uglier sides of our culture, and a chat with my husband can help me put that in context. So a few thoughts . . .

ToT: The Darker Side of the Olympics

We have a new Together on Tuesday blogger! Welcome, Katie, from Fun Home Things!

So, the topic today is the Olympics. My husband LOVES the Olympics, and I enjoy them too. In another life I would have been a gymnast, I know it, and Ben is really hoping for a chance to race Usain Bolt. I thought instead of answering all the ToT topic questions (sorry, guys), I'd take a Just Living perspective about the Olympics.

I could write about Gabby's hair. (Anyone notice that the other girls' hair isn't exactly ready for the red carpet? It's called being an ATHLETE.) I could write about the awkward balance between entertainment that brings people together and the massive amount of money spent or the environmental impact. But again, I'm taking it back to human trafficking. (To read more, click the modern day slavery label in the cloud on the right.)

Wednesday Wisdom

"We can do no great things, only small things with great love."

--Mother Teresa of Calcutta

ToT: Alias

One of the fun parts of this Together on Tuesday gig is we write about things we wouldn't think of on our own, and we get to know some other ladies while we do. Really, if you're thinking it looks fun, you're right, it is. Plenty of bloggers jump in and out as they can, so there's no pressure. For me it provides a good reason to take the time to write, which is something I love to do that keeps me sane. So there's another plug. If you're interested, join us! Contact one of the bloggers on the list to the right and we can pull you in.

This week: nicknames. I've seen that these terms of endearment can speak to the intimacy and affection in a relationship. Interesting . . . because I've never had too many. (And it's definitely not cute when strangers offer Sweetie Pie and Honey and whatever, so that theory doesn't always hold, I guess.) (And now I am wondering . . . what if I actually do have lots of nicknames, but the kind that no one tells you about? Hmmm . . .)

With a classic and popular name like Sarah, you would think there would be more, but Sarah Barah never really stuck. I've had a few, though. My mom used to call me Punkin, and I might hear Little Bit now and again when I'm sick (which I was a good part of last year, so I heard it a lot!). Sarahbeth is the usual, though. My grandpa calls me Sally--he's old school. Every once in awhile Ben has a few cutesy names for me, like Sarie Strawberry or something. (Ha, I've outed you!) And I have a whole string of nicknames for him, some old and some new . . . Butch, Binj, Vernon, Lewis, and a few others I'll protect. Genna used to be a big one . . . our Russian friends named Ben Gennadiy, Genna for short, because Venyamin was "too old-fashioned."

I was just reminded of Fred. For some reason, Nancy and I went through a phase where we called everyone Fred. Each other, our parents, our siblings, strangers, everyone. I don't know why--and I expect I started it. To this day, her parents and some of their friends still call me Fred.

Our baby boy has a slew of nicknames, too. Sweet Baby James has been popular, as has J (and many variations), Baby J, Big Boy, Baby Boy, Little Guy, Jamesie, James A, Stinks McGillicutty, just about anything that comes out of my mouth. He has his Butch moments, too. But his main nickname: Peanut. Peanut Butter, Peanut Sauce, Peanut Head, or just Peanut. Because he's Our Peanut.

My sweet, thoughtful Peanut. Thanks, Purple Peaches!

Who knows if it will stick. He's quickly outgrowing his Peanut stature, but he held onto it for a good run there at the beginning. I'll never forget when one of my music teachers told me I was no bigger than a peanut . . . even though I was 20 . . .and it sure seemed true for him at the beginning. But now, he's a big lug. Something tells me he will still be my Peanut when he's long passed my peanut-sized self. Lucky me.

ToT: A letter to the past . . .

Yes, I'm writing nearly a week late. Life happens. And for some reason, the life that happened last week left me just not in the mood to talk to that 16-year-old me. But I have a few things to say to her now . . .

To my 16-year-old self,

A lot has happened in your first 16 years . . . and that's a good thing. Because the next 16 years will bring changes you could never have imagined. Most of those are pretty wonderful. Some, devastating. If I could change some of those things, believe me, I would. I am not sure this letter has that much power . . . but if it did, here's what I would tell you.

Further Reading . . .

Just some other writings on the Chick-fil-A drama . . . there are many more views out there, of course. I found these particularly interesting. It's always good to consider multiple perspectives. Enjoy.

"I'm Sorry for Yesterday"

Anonymous experience of a Gay Chick-fil-A employee

And of course, fellow ToT blogger, Danielle

Wednesday Wisdom

" . . . liberty may be endangered by the abuses of liberty, as well as by the abuses of power . . ."

-James Madison in the Federalist Papers, no 63

If you want a history lesson on this, ask my husband.